Bastardology

Bastardology...the study of all types of bastards and their devious qualities (rat bastards, useless bastards, cheap bastards, etc.).

Anonymous E-mailer: Why are all men selfish, disrespectful, ignorant bastards??! They're so nice when they want something then they discard you like a piece of trash. They can be the best boyfriend ever, but won't think twice about dumping you for another woman and flaunting her in front of your face. Why do us women get emotionally attached while men just cut all ties, see ya later and you don't hear from them ever again? How can men just forget all the good times as well as the bad that they have with a girl, move on to the next without a second thought, and then when you see them in the street they just walk on by like a complete stranger? Do they not have a conscience??? I know you will tell me that there are good men out there, and I know there are, but they are very few and far between. I'm 29 and still looking for Mr Right but Ive had my heartbroken so many times. Why are all men so nasty?

I like to study bastardology to prepare myself for all of my potential encounters with bastards. As a former bastard myself, I've exhausted countless ways to bring the bastard like behavior to light. If I had it my way, I would love it if every bastard was exposed to keep women from being heartbroken. Unfortunately, I have come to find out that for every one that is exposed, two more creep deeper into obscurity only to come back up when the unsuspected heart is open for the taking. What will make my job a little easier is to deputize a few more people out there who can study a bastard or two. I would like to set up a formal study on bastardology and gather input on what you believe a bastard may consist of. In the meantime, let me give you a few takes on what I think one may be...

• A bastard becomes more short-tempered because of the guilty feelings as a result of the infidelity. Things that usually did not bother them suddenly start bothering them.  
• Behavioral changes. A bastard frequently becomes defensive when questioned about his whereabouts. He may turn it around to accuse you of being insecure, possessive or snoopy. 
• A bastard does not care much about their appearance unless they are trying to impress a new woman. Is your man suddenly caring more about what he wears and taking personal attention to his hygiene?

I'd be curious to know what your views on being a bastard are. Feel free to comment, and we can study bastardology together!