Frustrated Much?

You can expect to experience frustration at some point in any relationship. When you feel frustrated, it's tempting -- but also damaging -- to take your negative emotions out on your partner. Learn how to deal effectively with frustration and enjoy a happier, calmer life and relationship.

Stop frustration before it starts. Arrange your thoughts and get a strong hold on a clear perspective before you begin interacting with your partner. Never approach your partner at the height of your frustration. Practice breathing and stress-reduction techniques. When you feel yourself becoming frustrated, close your eyes, breathe deeply and calm yourself.

Make a habit of asking yourself "Will this be important next week?" when you become frustrated. If the answer is "No," you should feel your frustration deflate and be able to calm down.
Laugh. Nothing defuses a situation like humor. Tell your partner to make a silly face when he or she notices you're getting frustrated. The sight may make you laugh and calm down.

 

Ask yourself why you are frustrated. Avoid blaming it on the nearest person or the situation that's freshest in your mind. Be honest with yourself.

 

Pinpoint the exact source of your frustration. Don't personalize it. Don't tell your partner, "You are so frustrating." Instead, tell them "It frustrates me when you don't call before leaving work."

 

Don't let your frustration cause you to make a laundry list of unrelated grievances. If you are frustrated with your partner for forgetting something you discussed earlier, focus on that. Avoid getting off the subject and you can more effectively address the source of your frustration.

 

Ask yourself how your behavior could help ease your frustration. If for example your partner consistently forgets to load the dishwasher, resolve to simply do it yourself or put up a little sign beside the toothbrush to remind them. Pick your battles, because the wars will pick you.

 

Get active. Sweat out the frustration, especially if you know it's trivial. Small daily frustrations are normal and don't have to be a big deal. When you feel yourself becoming too frustrated to communicate effectively, go for a run, or hit the golf ball, or hit the gym and pump some iron.

 

Ask your friends and family to help you identify traits you need to work on. For example, if you are naturally impatient, you're probably more prone to frustration. Work on being more patient, less quick to judge and more understanding.

 

Remember that your relationship is important to you. You're half of it and therefore half responsible for whether its healthy and successful or not. Put your relationship ahead of your desire to make a snarky comment or pick a fight.

 

Focus on fixing thte situation and keeping your relationship healthy. Visualize the outcome you want and set your sights on getting there. Accept that there will be pitfalls along the way. Stay positive and upbeat. Don't let your frustrations come bettween you and your partner, or change your relationship. Don't allow yourself to consider the possibility that the problem can't be fixed.