The 5 Things NOT To Say To a Woman Over 30

RELATIONSHIP LESSON: Be careful how you word it, so you won't regret how they heard it...

Have you ever heard of the phrase "its not what you say, but how you say it"? Well, I'm here today to tell you that its both! Men, in order to avoid being slapped, having a drink thrown in your face, or even worse, I present to you the top 5 things not to say to a woman over 30. Have fun with it...

#5 Ah, the big 3-0! - Turning 30 is a milestone for women for absolutely no good reason. It’s like April 15th for taxes; a seemingly arbitrary date that makes you take stock of all that you have, all that you’ve done, all that you are, and all that you ever hope to be. It’s serious stuff and super annoying at the same time, but men don't you say it! .

#4 "Women are like fine wine" - Any silly jokes or comparisons to fine wine are outlawed. Turning this age isn’t the same as 21; They don’t feel cool, in fact any comparisons to fine wine and women like Angelina Jolie who are "still hot in their 30s" simply don’t work. Not only is she, and other celebrities like her super-human, but most of them have already been married (at least once) and probably have enough kids to field a basketball team.

#3 Is that your biological clock I hear ticking?" - Just do yourself a favor and don’t mention the biological clock. Women will tell you they aren’t thinking about it, but I’m here to tell you that they are. Every single woman (married, single, gay and straight) have "the talk" with their doctors.  Theye’re either ignoring it or obsessing over it, or a combination of them both. Since babies are on the brain, it’s a good idea not to nervously ask, "so, did you think you’d be married by now?" Save your breath, the answer is yes. One woman was in complete denial that she even wanted to get engaged until her now-fiance teased her about it, and she got all huffy and exasperated. She was lucky he had already bought the ring!

#2 "You should really start taking care of yourself" - Don’t suddenly tell women they should really start taking care of themselves, like somehow eating poorly at 29 was acceptable because they were so young, but now being 30 means their metabolism is shot and going to hell. Women do know how to take care of themselves. They made it to 30, haven’t they? Enough said.

#1 "Aren't you too old for that?" - Over the past few years, I’ve discovered there are very few things a 29-year-old can do that a 30-year-old can’t. One thing that comes to mind is a 30-year-old can’t blame her naivete for bad decisions with men, career or fashion, as they once did in their 20s. For example, turning 30 makes some women strangely suspect of short skirts. They'll suddenly start analyzing what hem lengths are appropriate in their "old" age. If you ask most women over 30 to reflect back, they don’t miss anything about their 20s. Not even the shortest of skirts. The bad jobs, bad dates, bad apartments, the never-ending hustle to pave a way in a career defined in their 20s. All of that seemed glamorous for about 2.5 seconds.

I'm leaving Nashville (mission accomplished), and I'm heading back to Chicago. I'll type you later...