Friday, October 19, 2012

When Men Pull Away From The Relationship

Its happened to you before, and it might happen to you again unless you do something about it. The guy you're dating suddenly gives you the cold shoulder. He suddenly stops texting or calling and seems to be aloof and distant when you make the effort. All you want to know is why does he seem to be pulling away? You see, men pull away in relationships for a number of reasons and today I'm going to reveal them to you!

Reason 1: Men and women are wired differently - Not only are our biological impulses and physical attributes different, but our brains are wired to value, think and believe in different ways. In some ways, they complement each other and that is where attraction happens. But other times, men and women just don't see eye to eye and that is where conflict happens. To a woman, some things may seem trivial and not worth caring about, but to a man, it may offend his values or annoy his person. The same goes for men. Sometimes, it may be a small, tiny and insignificant thing but a woman can just blow up about it and this leads to disaster.

Reason 2: He doesn't feel masculine in the relationship - One of the first things that attracted you to a man was his masculinity. The way he moved, talked, acted and thought exuded testosterone and that made you attracted to him. But the thing about society is that no one taught you how to understand why men act the way they do and when they do something that you are not familiar with, you get hurt, confused and worried. Women act that way because men want to feel like men. When men engage a woman emotionally, they truly embrace and enjoy the experience. Most men have lofty goals or big dreams and working towards those goals and dreams make us feel alive, masculine and manly. Most men are happy to be in a lovey dovey state, but they have to have breaks in order to keep in line with their goals. That is not to say that they do not want you, but rather they want to create something for themselves, so that they can be proud of their achievements. Pride is something a man values highly.

Reason 3: There is science behind it - When people come together to bond, a hormone called Oxytocin is released into the body. This hormone lowers a woman's stress levels, but in men, it lowers their testosterone levels which in turn raises his stress levels. Too much closeness can cause a man to feel suffocated and pressured (ladies, insert your laughter here). Men usually have a cycle of bonding then pulling away in order to regain their testosterone levels and making themselves feel more reassured about themselves.

Reason 4: Men want to be free - Did you know that most movies depicting men choosing to die free rather than live in captivity were made based on true stories? Men throughout the ages have always resisted being placed into captivity. To place restrictions on a man's freedom is almost like cutting off his legs. Men who pull away or say that they're not ready to commit are attracted to you and do love you, but they feel that you might put restraints on his freedom and prevent him from living his own life. The funny thing is, the problem only arises if you as a woman try to prevent him from having his freedom!

Tomorrow I will give you part 2 instructing you in what to do if he does decide to pull away...

4 comments:

  1. Thanks for you advice..It really helped me.

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  2. Heya this is somewhat of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding expertise so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!

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  3. That read so well, I hated for it to end. #AJ

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  4. Thank you so much for focusing on how the relationship and its additional aspects and many other elements are necessary to keep your married life going.

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