If you are
considering dating a single parent, forget the myths
associated with it. Look into your situation first to see where you are
in life and where you want to go. Get to know people of all walks of
life, be honest about what you want, and provide support and friendship
when its warranted. I’m not saying that you should take on a family if
you are not ready. What I am saying is evaluate the situation with an
open mind and create conclusions about where you want your relationship
to go based upon your experience with that person. So here are five myths AND truths associated with dating a single parent:
1. That single mother is only looking for someone to provide for her children
It’s
the excuse that all single mothers (and maybe single dads) are all
looking for handouts. You get this rhetoric from some, and while the
availability of income share is smaller for a single parent than a
married parent, we should be conscious of the facts. Seventy six percent
of single mothers are working mothers, and for dads that percentage is
in the nineties. So the myth above is exactly that...a myth! Now I can
say that the share of income for a single parent to spend on outside
activities is less than a person with no children. However let’s rebuke
the fact that all single parents are living in poverty and that all
single moms are gold diggers.
2. Single parents are an easy fling
This
myth is only a myth if the other person wants something more than a
fling. Just because they had a child or children doesn’t mean they are
easy. Sometimes these individuals were in a serious relationship or
marriage and the child is a result of that relationship. If anything
this shows that they are capable of a commitment and willing to try to
date again to find that connection. Whatever the case, you need to be
up front and have the talk early with a single parent. That way nobody
will be wasting anyone’s time. If the single parent is on the same page
as you, then go for it. The key is be genuine and sincere.
3. The kids come first, so I’ll never be a priority
Single
parents juggle a multitude of priorities at different times in their
lives. A parent that places a high priority for their children are just
demonstrating characteristics associated with love and integrity. It
should not be questioned at all that children are their top priority.
However, don’t be discouraged and convince yourself that YOU are NOT a
priority because to a single parent you are. Yes single parents are
juggling so many priorities, but if you are willing, be patient about it.
Yes, they may not be texting you every minute or responding as quick to
your phone calls, but that doesn’t mean they are not thinking about you because they are. Open yourself up to a stronger connection by paying
attention to the details. Single parents will appreciate it because
they can appreciate that you understand the many things they have to
juggle at one time.
4. The single parent is going to expect me to replace the absent parent
Single
parents are not about getting a replacement parent for their child if
the other parent is absent. Single parents that have little to no
support from their ex are so used to being in the role as both
parents, they would never dream of anybody being a replacement parent.
In these situations, flexibility and understanding is important. The
single parent in this situation juggles a lot and carries a large burden
all on their own. In most cases, they have less trust of people and so
its necessary to be supportive, available and understanding. Once you
get a single parent to open up, you will see a very hard working
and caring individual that will definitely appreciate any
gestures to romance them or provide understanding about their situation.
5. All single moms hate men, or all single dads hate women
A
single parent that is ready to date does not HATE on all men or all women. If they are confident and ready to date, there should not be an
issue with getting close to single parents. Of course you may encounter
single parents that seem to bad mouth a particular gender or even bad
mouth their ex. That’s where you need to evaluate for yourself where
this opinion is coming from. Did they have a bad experience with their
ex earlier and they are just venting. It may be a harmless and seldom
occurrence that can be disregarded. If the single parent constantly
makes disparaging remarks about a gender or their ex, it may be time to
have the talk and let them know that you are not going to tolerate such
remarks.
Take these five myths and truths and evaluate for yourself if you
are ready to date a single parent. You can meet a very wonderful
individual and in the long run meet even many more wonderful
individuals. Relationships should nurture you, support you and help
you grow and succeed with love. If a single parent is the one that can
create that for you, then you have something very special. So take
these myths and truths, and understand that you could be missing out on a potential
dating partner that could be a great relationship for life...
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twitter.com/delvinrandle
Add that we don't have problems with baby sitters, some of us have good support systems.
ReplyDeleteI knew I was forgetting something, its duly noted!
ReplyDeleteYep..Good stuff & absolutely true!^5
ReplyDelete