What You Reflect in Relationships

During an interview I was asked, “what is the number one mistake I see women making in their dating and relationships?” I didn’t have to think about it for even a second. In fact, the interviewer hadn’t finished asking me the question before I was giving her my answer. “Hands down the biggest problem I see women continually making, is that they don’t own their POWER" I replied. They don’t realize how truly wonderful and special they are. Because if they did they would never take anything from any man, even the man they're in a relationship with.” Now before you start filling up my mailbox with venom spewing e-mail, I want you to know that I am one of your biggest champions. I know what a huge heart you have. I know that you have a tremendous desire to share that heart with someone special. I know how you will give and give until you can’t give anymore and then still somehow find it in you to give some more.

It is one of the traits I admire most in women. But unfortunately that trait is often your Achilles heel. You are so used to giving and trying to make others happy that you often overlook your own needs. You forget that YOU ARE IMPORTANT and that in order for you to be truly happy it is essential for you to be in a relationship with a guy who gives as much as he takes. Herein lies the problem...you don’t realize that you deserve it, and if you do realize it you don’t act in a way which shows a guy that you do deserve it. I could write an expose for why this is but and the end of the day it comes down to one thing, YOUR SELF WORTH! If you really knew how special you were you would never settle. You would never take crap from any man, especially the one you were sharing your life with and more importantly, you would realize that you deserve nothing less than the best and you wouldn’t stay five minutes with a guy who gave you anything less.

Owing your power simply means you know how special you truly are. It’s knowing you don’t need the love or approval of anyone else. It’s understanding in every cell of your body that you don’t need a man to complete you, and you don’t need a man in order to live happily ever after. You have to own your power first, because once you do, it becomes much easier to find and have the happy and fulfilling relationship you really desire. Why? Because you will no longer be operating from FEAR. Its fear that makes you stay in a relationship when your gut is telling you to run. Its fear that makes you chase a guy when he is clearly showing you that he isn’t interested in you, or he is only interested in you for sex. If you want to know how strong your self-worth and self-esteem is simply take a good look at your life and notice what you see:

• Do you set clear boundaries and quickly remove yourself from any man who isn’t continuously making you happy?
• Do you take your time and get to know a guy before you open your heart, or your bed? Or do you rush and jump right into things hoping that if you do he will like you more?

You see, you can never have a truly happy and fulfilling relationship if it is based on fear. It’s like building a house on a foundation of sand. It may look good and be functional in the beginning but it will only be a matter of time before it starts sinking and comes crashing down. Your relationships are a reflection of how you feel about yourself. If you love and respect yourself you have a relationship which mirrors that, and if you don’t love or respect yourself, your relationships will reflect that too. You deserve the very best relationship possible, but until you own it in your thoughts, words or actions, you will continue to make it much harder on yourself to have it...

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