You’ve probably asked yourself at some point “How do I attract the right guy and keep him?” Well, in my 3 part series on attraction, I've given you 3 areas which I believe can make a woman very attractive: Personality, Looks, and Depth. If you missed it or want a refresher, you can read my posts on Looks and Personality. Today, I will share with you my thoughts on Depth. I
would define depth as the range, or extent of your emotions and
feelings. Depth ranges from the shallow (light, fun and care-free), to
the deep (serious, meaningful and heart-to-heart).
I’m sure you’ve heard someone being called “shallow”, or maybe you’ve had a “deep” conversation at some point. Now,
I believe we all have the capacity to have an extensive range of depth.
We are created with a range of emotions and have the ability to
experience, express, feel and share things on many different levels. For
some people, it may come more naturally to be able to open up beyond
the shallow surface level. For others, it can be difficult to express
deeper emotions and feelings. If you want to build a solid
relationship, then you need to be able to navigate between the lighter
side of things and the moments where you can go deep. Let me explain why this is not only attractive, but it's also necessary.
After
you get past the initial attraction of looks and spend some time
getting to know them and their personality, you will experience one of
two things: 1) continue to get to know that person on a more intimate,
deeper level, or 2) hit a brick wall of shallowness. If you hit that brick
wall of shallowness, then what else is there? How can you form a good
relationship? The attraction level just dropped. Doesn’t matter about
your looks or personality. Without depth, you lose attraction.
As I get to spend more time talking and getting to know LaShaun again, I begin to
really understand who she is beneath the surface. This is the point
where her attractiveness skyrockets through the roof because I realize that I
could have fun and be goofy with this woman, and then have a really deep and
meaningful conversation as well. One key thing to remember is this: know
when it’s okay to be a bit more fun (shallow) and when it’s more
appropriate to be more serious (deep). Be socially aware of the
situation. Also, let depth develop naturally between you and the person
you are dating. If you’re always being serious when they are just
having fun (or vice versa) then the situation can become awkward and
even annoying. The result: loss of attractiveness. Now this can
work both ways. Not only do you need to be able to navigate through
different levels of depth, but the person you’re dating does as well. It’s
important to be able to build a safe, trusting atmosphere where this
can happen. If you are able to come to the point where you can get
beyond the shallow surface, not only will you be able to really connect
with each other, but your attractiveness will dramatically increase.
Have
fun together, be light and care-free, but also get to know what’s
beneath the surface. Talk about hopes, dreams, faith and other matters
of the heart and soul. This is the beginning of a foundation for a
lasting relationship. Not only will you be attractive on the outside,
but you’ll be attractive on the inside, and that’s what really matters
in the long run.
Well that’s it for now. I hope that gives you a bit of insight on what makes a woman attractive to men...
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