Independence Day in America is annually celebrated on July 4, and is often known as
"The Fourth of July". It's the anniversary of the publication of The Declaration of Independence from Great Britain in 1776. So as America celebrates Independence Day today, many people including myself plan on taking time to rest from a long week of working. Enjoying time with friends, family, food and fireworks in Chicago while "The One" is also doing the same thing in another part of the country. In relationships, you also have to celebrate your independence day because doing things alone will definitely bolster your doing things together. It's wonderful to lose yourself in your loved one,
but how healthy is it for your long-term plans to stay exclusive?
Discover how to balance independence with involvement, and make your
relationship stronger. Be independent and you'll live a much richer life. Why? Because you won't
always be thinking about your every move in making sure that he or she is there to
hold your hand. And by not always mentally editing your actions,
thoughts and feelings to make sure they approve. Not to mention that you'll have more inner
confidence as well. You'll also have a better relationship because no one wants a clingy and
dependent mate. They want a partner with their own ideas, their own
passions, and their own life. They want someone who stays because they care, not
because they're scared of being alone. The bottom line is that while too
much is a bad sign, some independence is vital in love. So consider today's blog five ways on how to stay independent.
Remember who you were - Don't drop the friends, hobbies or lifestyle you had at the start of the
relationship in order to fit in with your significant other. If they don't share
these friends, hobbies or lifestyles, there's no need to abandon them. If they fulfill you, keep them
in your life.
Be more self-reliant - Common sense says don't ask your man or woman to do things you're unsure about. You should bite the bullet and do it yourself, and even if you fall flat the first time, it will
reinforce your idea of yourself, and their idea of you as an effective
and independent person.
Project yourself as independent - When you're with others, make an effort to say "I" instead of "we". Offer your
own point of view rather than letting your significant other speak for both of you. Fix
work and social arrangements without always checking back with him
or her first.
Keep developing - Do things you find emotionally or physically challenging. Why not try skydiving, public speaking or even a fire walk? Building your
confidence this way will reinforce the idea that you can cope even in a
crisis, and that you don't need your partner to rescue you on a daily
basis.
Take breaks - It's great to be together, but 24/7 bonding creates dependence. At least
twice a year you should take a weekend away, either with friends or on your own. Do it to simply
to gain a fresh view that you can share when you reunite.
If you need constant reassurance, or you need to let them make every decision, or if you feel your
world would collapse if he or she left, then it's possible that your
dependency may be rooted in other problems. Just sometimes, a partner may be so insecure in themselves that he or
she actively wants a dependent mate because that makes them feel
needed, important and in control. Try giving them security in other
ways, by stressing how much you value and love them but insist on
developing your own individuality. If you're always compromising
yourself by being with a partner, you may have to make a difficult
choice, and let him or her go.
Start asserting your independence today by thinking of something
you'd really like to do and suggest it to your partner. If they're up for
it, you've taken the lead. If they're not keen on the idea, then give him or her a big smile
and simply do it by yourself. But most importantly, have a great time! Happy Independence Day...
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