In Chicago, the summer means doing something outside of sports for men. It's been a very sucky summer here with both the Cubs and White Sox in the tank. Football is life in Chicago, and since NFL pre-season games have started, I wanted to take some time and
reflect on some of the lessons I’ve learned from the NFL last season.
2012 was a hell of a year. Not only did I get a new High Definition TV just in time
to watch my favorite team (The Chicago Bears) implode all over my face, I also disintegrated a relationship in real time. That was
fun. And so, as a result of spending too many Sunday afternoons crying
into a bowl of melted ice cream while wearing my jersey (over the game, not the relationship) I bring you the following five insights:
1. The Two Quarterback System DOES NOT WORK.
For those of you who don’t know, the quarterback is the guy who throws the
ball. Ok, I'm joking, but he’s kind of the nucleus of the entire situation. It’s his job to
make a play happen. While it’s important to develop players and have a
deep bench (in the event of injury), you only need one starting
quarterback. When applied to relationships, this means you’ve got to
play your position. I’m not into gender roles and things like that, but
two people vying for the same spot just leads to chaos. The entire situation
stops being about advancing the team, and instead it becomes about advancing
the individual. You can’t win at love, life, or football with that
dynamic. It’s stressful for everyone involved.
2. You are NOT entitled to your starting spot.
The 49er’s were in the Super Bowl last year, but somewhere poor Alex Smith was crying and
sticking pins in a Colin Kaepernick voodoo doll. Why? Because after
Smith suffered a concussion against the Saint Louis Rams, 49er's coaches put in
Kaepernick, his backup (against the Bears no less), and never looked back. I remember hearing the
news on Thanksgiving that “Kaepernick will be starting next week. This
is not due to Alex Smith’s injury.” It was messed up, but the 49er’s got to
the Super Bowl, so it was obviously the better choice. My point is
this: our jobs, our relationships, and our roles are NOT guaranteed so
we have to do well every-single-time. I’m not saying you can’t get
injured or have a bad day, but understand that people have short
memories and no patience; otherwise, you might lose your spot (see former Bears coach Lovie Smith). I wake up every day and try to figure out how to be a better partner to The One. Say what you want about me, but I'm a man who wants to remain in the game…
3. Good football teams protect the football.
So you’d think in this convoluted analogy, the “team” would
represent the relationship, but you’re wrong. I’m convinced that a
relationship is it’s own entity — a football. It’s something outside of
the two individuals. You work together to push the ball forward. Have you ever seen a player intercept the football late in the fourth
quarter, run the ball down the field and instead of going for the
touchdown, he stops before the end zone to avoid giving the opposing
team another chance at getting the ball? Instead of running for the
points and the glory, they hit the ground to end the play. That’s
because sometimes going for the big play (the huge applause or risky
points) can cost you in the end. Sometimes it’s better to just play
smart. Small advances are often more meaningful and effective than
grand gestures. Though we’re in this era of fantasy football and
Facebook courtships, it’s not all about the lights and camera-ready
actions. It’s about the small, hard fought advances. It’s about managing
the clock and adjusting the plays. It’s about protecting the football –
protecting the relationship even when doing so doesn’t result in
applause and attention. I’m thoroughly convinced that if more people saw
their relationship as something beyond their egos that needed
protection, we’d all be better off.
4. Not even faith can obscure obvious lack of skill.
Remember Tim Tebow,
the overrated beloved quarterback who lucked into carrying his
team to the playoffs? Isn’t it odd how even with all of his “success”
The Denver Broncos still traded him, and the team that inherited him didn’t
utilize him, so they traded him again? Well, that’s because he’s trash. Sometimes like in
relationships, we get so caught up in the narrative. We date a Tim Tebow
and although we know he sucks, but we stick by him because he looks good on
paper, or our friends love him, or we’ve “already invested so much”. We
have faith in him because he’s such a nice guy. We ride it out when it’s
obvious he can’t get the job done. I’m all about having faith, but God
also blessed me with pragmatism. If it’s not working, have faith that
someone else can do it better.
5. You CAN still be awesome after an injury.
Am I the only person in the world who thought Peyton Manning would be out of the game by now? No, I’m not. Even the Indianapolis Colts, his former
team, didn’t think that he was the future of their franchise. With all
of the doubt and speculation, Peyton recovered from his neck injury, was
signed by the Denver Broncos, and became co-MVP last year.
Granted, if Tim Tebow could take the Broncos into the playoffs last
season, Manning isn’t exactly a miracle worker, but that’s not the
point. The point is that no matter how bad the relationship injury, it IS possible for you to
recover. You may be out of the game for a season, but if you’re
willing to take the risk of re-injury, you can be awesome again. Whether you end up on a new team, or if you’re like me; heading back to your original
franchise, you CAN come back. And clearly, you can come back with style after learning a few lessons.
I’m no sports writer, but these are my observations...
facebook.com/relationshiplessons
twitter.com/DelvinRestored
Nice article! Go NY Giants!
ReplyDelete