Monday, August 19, 2013

How To Enjoy The Relationship Rollercoaster

Relationships are very much like rollercoasters. Many of us thrill seekers enjoy the first steps in a relationship, the inching up the scary slope, and anxiously awaiting the unknown of what's to come. We get butterflies in our stomachs from all of the excitement. It's a true adrenaline rush. Once the coaster is at its highest peak. it plummets down again, maneuvering around the twist and turns. Once the thrill is over, it comes to a stop...much like many relationships. And so  therein lies the problem.

We all need things to get excited about and look forward to. Most everyone enjoys the thrill of anticipation in experiencing something new and not always knowing what to expect. However, you can ride the same coaster over and over again, knowing where every dip and turn is, and still enjoy the ride. Part of it is the attitude you approach it with, like a kid waiting to experience the excitement of a lifetime. If we all treated every kiss or date like it was out first (or as if it could be our last), we might not ever lose that excitement. 

A good relationship is better than any rollercoaster. Though there is excitement in the unknown, there is also comfort in familiarity. Knowing each others idiosyncrasies, and knowing what makes each other tick can make it easier to be responsive to the other person's needs and desires. Knowing where each person will bend and sway, and knowing how to react, is like a special dance two people in a special relationship can play. Sometimes with someone new, there may be awkwardness because of the unfamiliarity. With someone you are at ease with, everything can ebb and flow like the wind blowing in the night sky, or the waves rolling up on the shore line. Contentment can be like that heavy sigh we let out when we are comfortable or at peace. In the end, those sighs can be more fulfilling than the shrill of an excited scream.

The same thing about familiarity can be said about intimacy. Personally, I think too many people rush into being intimate, then like the rollercoaster, get to the end and stop. In new relationships, many people never come back to ride the same ride again, because they believe the thrill is gone. Had they taken their time, they might've realized that half of the thrill is in the build-up. I think it's better to take your time. It's better to let the anticipation build with the thrill of excitement by imagining all that is to come. Spending time truly getting to know your partner on a deeper level can make everything more rewarding.

Intimacy involves more than just sex, and it should be. There is a lot to be gained from enjoying the many little nuances of intimacy along the way. Much like the rollercoaster, the anticipation comes from inching up that slope. In reality and in many relationships, that slope comes all too quickly, so it's better to pace yourself and enjoy the ride. You may find out that you really enjoy each small step so much, that rather than moving on to the next quick thrill, you want to come back and do it all over again.

May each of us treat every rollercoaster like occasion, encounter and adventure as if it were our first (or as if it could be our last), because we never know what the future holds, and we should treasure every moment and enjoy the ride every step of the way...

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