The 12 Blogs of Christmas: Silent Night, Stressful Night

Christmas can put an extra and unnecessary strain on your relationship, so I really hope I can help you out with some extra relationship advice. I really don't want you to be one of the thousands of people knocking on the door of a relationship expert once the holiday season is over! First of all, you may as well acknowledge that you could be at risk of setting yourselves up for failure, if you want to call it that. Why? Well, the holiday season is often so stressful because of the huge expectations:

• the 'right' presents
• the 'right' food
• the 'right' atmosphere
• the 'right' mood
• the 'right' festive events
• the 'right' cards/greetings
• the 'right' contribution to the school
• being the 'right' daughter, son, husband, wife, child or parent
• being a 'good' guest
• ensuring that your children are on their 'best' behavior

Whatever all of that means! How stressful is that??? All of the expectations around Christmas can lead to disappointments for you, and for others. Below I've listed the potential trouble spots, some of which you're no doubt well aware of, but others perhaps not so much. I hope that if I can prepare you in advance, you may be able to manage at least your own, your partner's and your children's expectations way in advance of Christmas. Hopefully this will also help you to become more aware of the pressures others around you feel too. It all creates the potential for a meltdown!

Here are some of the 'pressure points' on relationships at Christmas:

1. The pressure of time in terms of all the above expectations.
2. Managing your finances may be even more difficult in December, and differences in attitudes towards spending will be even more apparent.
3. The cost of Christmas parties in terms of money, time and maybe even your relationship if your trust in each other has been damaged.
4. Staying with extended family, or...
5. ...having extended family stay with you.
6. Spending time with children who may not be your own.
7. Spending time with children who may not behave in the way you'd want them to.
8. Deciding with which parent the children should spend their days (if you and your partner are separated or divorced).
9. Your children not being with you on the days you'd have wanted.
10. The influence of alcohol on your partner, on you, and on your guests.
11. The physical and mental effects of the kind of foods you eat during this time (yes, your mental well-being too).

Given that there are so many potential causes of relationship problems at Christmas, how about insulating your relationship as well as your home? I hope that some of these relationship tips and stress identifiers can help you to have an even more enjoyable and peaceful Christmas...

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