What My Mother Taught Me (and YOU too)

My mom is literally the “mother of all clichés.” Whenever she wanted to teach me a lesson, she would pull from her “old sayings” bank and make a deposit into my life. No matter what it was, every message was taught around a cliché. “You can catch more bees with honey than you can with vinegar” was used when she was trying to teach me how maintaining a sweet demeanor was far better than a sour one. Back then, I simply nodded my head and sighed during our re-created Cosby Show episodes. But today, I realize that my mother was and still is a woman of incredible wisdom.

As a man, this same cliché plays on repeat whenever I’m in the process of selecting the words that I want to use in my relationships. I spend quite some time on this subject because words can create or destroy our relationships. A simple word can add fuel to a fire, or extinguish its burning flames. Even Proverbs says how “pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.” If we are to maintain healthy relationships, we have to add more pleasant words to our vocabulary bank.

Every time we speak, we’re either making a deposit into our partners life or we're overdrawing their account. When we use sharp words, they penetrate the skin like a bee sting. It’s usually a sign that we're trying to protect or defend an area that should be openly discussed. But instead of drawing the one you love closer, you’re swatting them away with the impact of your words. I’ve been guilty of this myself. I can admit that my words were once bitter. They came from a deep dark place of discontentment, frustration, and unhappiness. I was unable to effectively communicate my feelings to my mate, and therefore caused an increase in these unwanted traits. It wasn’t until I began to pay close attention to my words (and remember what my mother told me) that I was able to see a change in the way my relationship buzzed. What's the lesson today? Take time to evaluate what words you use to express yourself in the name of love. And ask yourself, what have I said lately to sweeten up my honey? Thanks Mom, lessons learned!

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