As a
writer, I sometimes come across an idea or a thought or something that I
read somewhere and I have what I call a "Stop The Presses" kind of
moment. I was a communication major in college, and I grew up in the
daily newspaper era (a time well before the invention of the tablet)
when you needed the help of the newspaper to get your dose of world
information. When breaking news would happen, the editor of the paper
would gather the information from the writers and yell out STOP THE
PRESSES at the top of his voice, so they could add the latest
information to the paper and get it out to the people. After someone
today pointed me to a must read this morning, and after gathering all of
the late breaking information, I had to go old school and "stop the
presses", so I could get this must read to all of you today from Travis
McGee's "How To Lose A Woman, Forever" the website The Good Men Project.
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McGee’s advice on women is often harsh—to both men and women. His cynicism
will cut you and leave you stinging. He’s not the kind of man to gently nudge
you awake. He’s more of a slap in the face guy. Having read all 21 books
multiple times, I’ve summarized Travis McGee’s view on women. In the McGee
tradition of constant sarcasm and criticism, this compilation is a list of
rules to break if you would like to lose a woman forever.
1. Don’t protect her. She’s a big girl. There’s no reason to help her feel safe in the way she
needs to feel safe. There are no guarantees in life so it’s not rational to
expect security in relationships. (And nothing is more rational than love.) Her
emotional security is paramount to her. This means she wants to rely on you to
always be there for her and can count on you to be her best friend. Allow her
to feel alone and abandoned, and you will experience both.
2. Don’t respect her. Simple. Treat her like crap. If she doesn’t take it, she’ll leave and you’ll
be miserable. If she does, she’ll stay and you’ll both be miserable. Treating
her like the extraordinary woman she is will only increase her expectations,
attitude, and hope, and courage, and affection, and love …
3. Don’t listen to her. Every time she talks either tune her out or try to solve her problems. Do
not, under any circumstances come to the realization that her feelings
are the problem she needs to communicate to you. She doesn’t want you to DO
anything. (After all, if she wanted your help she would ask for it. Seriously,
she will.) And if you wanted her to feel closer to you than anyone else in the
world you would not listen to her problems, but to her feelings. That takes
paying sharp attention to her and learning how to really listen beyond her
words. You would have to look at her as a person of near limitless emotional
capacity. And all of that would only show her how much you truly value her. Who
has that kind of time?
4. Look at her like an object. All your life you’ve been sizing women up, judging them, taking in their
physical being the same way you do with cars, boats or maybe fishing gear.
Women are their words, their silence, their movement, the expressions, their
work, their art, their friends, their children, their emotions, their thoughts,
their hearts and their minds. They are more complex than anything else in the
world. If you’re lucky, you might be smart enough to take on the challenge of
understanding one someday.
5. Take her for granted. Let her know she’s nothing special. Devalue everything she does, especially
the things she does for you. If you want to make her miserable, sad,
hopeless, or just lose her self-esteem make sure she knows she really doesn’t
mean that much to you. You can’t be bothered with the fact that she’ll be
looking for some kind of positive affirmation from you every day. And giving it
to her is not something you can do once a month or week, on holidays or special
occasions. She knows you appreciate her when you work at it all the time,
especially those times when you don’t have to.
There are 17 more jaw dropping points that are made, and you can read them all by clicking on the link here. Next time I will post the points on "How To Lose A Man, Forever".
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