CONFESSION TIME: The consequences of my past and my past alone has haunted me for
quite a while now. Meditating and doing stuff to avoid these thoughts hasn’t
helped them to cease. Every event that I’ve encountered has repeated
itself in my mind. I’m constantly reminded of how messed up I was. My
immaturity dictated my decisions thus causing me to really bring myself
down. I wasn’t aware of my surroundings or aware of how it would affect
me in the long run – I wasn’t thinking thoroughly. I sometimes thought because of my decisions, I put myself here, and I
really believe that. I had to be humbled, but had I not been who I was
then, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I’ve been freed mentally. Though my
days are tough and emotionally draining, I now think rationally and
responsibly. I am not who I was 5, 10, or even 15 years ago...and neither are you.
We've all made bad decisions in our years of living, yet we have
been blessed to learn from them. We've been given the opportunity to
share our past confidently to others as means to guide and motivate –
such as our parents. They have pressed us to be better, do better, and
make better decisions because they weren’t able to. Sometimes we
miss the signs, which is okay because if we wake up the next day, we’re
given another sign to start over or change. We've gone through the past to get here
and go further to what is promised to us. We're all uniquely made, and given different assignments to direct us to becoming stronger and
better.
Though we reminisce on how we used to be or used to act, we don’t
have to dwell on it. No one can go back and change something because we
wouldn’t have been able to learn. If we were granted one wish to change
something in the past, we wouldn’t be where we are now — emotionally or physically. There is a lesson in every season ranging
from romances, friendships, relationships and even ourselves. We are
all given the opportunity to spend more time with ourselves for gain and
acceptance. As we learn more about how strong we are, how lovable we
are, how caring, giving and beautiful are, we understand what we need now rather
than tripping over what we wanted then. We become mature with age and experiences that
includes bad and good decisions. What we did then
shouldn’t affect who we are now. What’s done is done and there is more
to come, but some situations are repeated as a test. Since we’ve grown so
much, we should be able to know how to handle things better. So like
I’ve told myself, I don’t live in my past anymore. We are new, the day is
new and the challenge is new. Spend more time focusing on being better
than yesterday and the 5, 10, 15 years before that…
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