What makes me, out of all of the people in the world, an authority on relationships? To be honest, I've been married before (12 years) to a terrific woman, but I was a bastard in more ways than one. I lied, I cheated, and I destructively controlled my way out of that relationship. After two other marriages didn't last a year combined, it was time for me to think about what was I missing. What was I doing wrong? Why couldn't I find the answer to how to do right and more importantly, how to BE right? Then it clicked...the epiphany, the ah-ha moment, the "what you say now" moment when it all came together for me. My first ex-wife and I had several relationship books, which at the time she read more of than of than I did. Within the margins of these books, she wrote her view as to where her marriage was at the time, and most of all, what she wasn't getting from me (WOW)! I took the time to read these books from different writers, and from the wife who was giving me documented proof as to just how much of a bastard I really was. So what makes me, out of all of the people in the world, an authority on relationships? The fact that the lessons I've learned haven't made me perfect (there aren't any PERFECT relationships), but they've made me better. Better for the man I am now, and better for the man I'll be in the future. I'll share with you these lessons, and we can all learn from them together...
I have had two years to think things over. I've written 305 posts from that time to now. These posts into my open window have been read almost 200,000 times in what is now over 17 countries. I don't brag on any of these numbers, because I can't even begin to imagine that many people doing anything for me. I was happy and I thought I was doing something with the 44 people I started with in Chicago who supported me on my first day, but I'm thankful to the God I love and worship for making me get out the boat and start walking on the water (for lack of a better term). As I start the third year of advice, confessions, topics and humor, I just want to take time today and thank all of you who faithfully follow the craziness that comes from this bald head of mine every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. It hasn't always been easy writing about my life and putting stuff out there that any reasonable man with any good sense of judgement would lock up and throw away the key. Some days I really struggled pressing "publish" and letting particular stories out into the bloggersphere, but on those days, plenty of you out there have reached out to tell me thank you and to keep going. You'll never know how those days pushed me. To every guest blogger who has told their story, wow...it takes a lot of courage to share your story and I will forever applaud you. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Well, enough of the mushiness... What have I learned since blog #1? I can honestly tell you that I have learned how to be a friend to my ex wife, and how to partner with her to be the best parent a 13 year old boy could ever ask for. Some men would think that they don't need the mom in order to be a great dad, but I know mommy helps me be daddy. I attribute her to ALL of my success as a dad. I've also learned that being a bastard is nothing great to brag about, but finally I've learned that there are plenty more bastards out there so my work is far from done. Do I ever want to love and be loved? Absolutely! I said one day on my Facebook page that I
didn't know how long I can wait on her, but I plan on waiting a
while. That's what happens when a man sees a woman he sees a future
with. I'm interested in love, but love is a process with one hell of a backstory so I'm willing to wait.
I know what I'm being pushed towards doing, and you'll hear more about that at the appropriate time. Your support, your prayers, and your love is appreciated...especially in this unforgiving internet world we live in. People only remember you for the last thing you've ever done for them. I hope my last will be better than my last, and I will carry this relationship lesson with me for as long as I live.
On to year three, type you later...
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