A close friend of mine who lives in Atlanta said to me during my last conversation with her that women sometimes don’t know how to be happy. I don’t
think that statement only pertains to women because there are men in
that conversation too. I asked myself that same question this week
because I’m starting to think that even when everything is perfect we
find ways to be unhappy in our relationships.
What does it really take to be happy in a relationship? Are we
climbing in our relationships just like we do in life? Is a relationship
like a career in which you’re always trying to reach another level or
get a better job that will reward us in the way that we deem fitting?
I’m not sure, and I also think that’s not how we should view things. We have to find a way to be happy. Happiness is the key to a great
life and it seems that almost half of us aren’t happy. Roughly 50% of us
will get married; and roughly 50% of us who get married will stay married. It’s awkward
talking to single guys about what they want out of a partner. It seems
they want perfection, despite knowing that they will most likely never
find it. Happiness isn’t something you can order on Amazon and wait for it to
show up three to five business days later, it’s something that requires
work. But when you’re happy, you have to know when to accept it and
internalize it so that it doesn’t flee like most things in life.
Happiness isn’t a season and it isn’t a mood. If it feels that way, then
it’s most likely best referred to as bliss.
My struggle with the relationship and dating world right now is this
impression that things will be perfect. That they won’t require an
enormous amount of effort to make things work, because it will. I haven’t
been in a relationship since grade school that was as easy as, “I like
you, you like me, we go together.” In fact, most relationships will
involve all of us trying our hardest to make it work. There will be
tears, frustration, arguments, distance and tribulation. That’s all part
of what you sign up for when you embark on a relationship. Does anyone else feel that way too? I guess I want everyone to think about what it really requires to be
happy. Are you always smiling or are you always frowning? Are you looking at the
glass like it's half empty or half full? But moreover, when it’s half of
what you expect it to be, are you trying to fill it or are you trying to
find a glass more full? Relationships will leave you scarred in many
ways. You can either look at those scars and become better for it, or you
can walk away and not let those scars heal at all.
That’s the nature of people, we’re always chasing perfection and we
will never find it. The easy, most cliche' way of saying it is:
1. Be happy with what you
have in front of you.
2. Try to make it work, don’t be the reason why it
didn’t.
3. Be happy you have someone, a lot of people don’t have anyone.
4. Be
happy with your relationship, even though it seems like crap at times.
5. Anything you’re dealing with is probably better off dealing with when
there’s a significant other than alone.
Then, just maybe we might have
more happy people in the world. Especially those of us who choose to
seek out the companionship of another person...
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