First thing, let me thank everyone who has supported me on the Facebook page to get Relationship Lessons over the 40,000 like plateau while I took some time off. I still am overwhelmed at how many people in countries around the world are joining the relationship revolution. Thank you for allowing me to take a week off to get some rest and observe some things that I will be writing about as well. Ok, on with the show...
Cozily seated at a classy uptown restaurant, nestled in the corner of a
heated booth, I watched a man and woman trying to
cross the street. There was a small break in traffic and the dude takes off
like the road runner, alone. He left his girlfriend with a not so impressed
look on her face as she stood there waiting for another opportunity to cross.
The perfect example of doing it wrong. It’s time to step up and be a man like you’ve never been before, because most of you
haven’t been. Stop being an amateur and become a professional in your
relationships. Somehow, too much bastardness has replaced chivalry. Guys are reading dumb books talking about
being the alpha, or some other nerdy fantasies, and then they go about their lives
acting like jerks because they think women will like it. This is the exact
opposite of being real, and it’s the wrong way to connect with women. A man can lead without being controlling, and be romantic without becoming a sap. We can be
dominant and not domineering, and a man with a capital "M" cares about his partners
needs and acts accordingly, always conscious of the situation. So here are a few basic rules to follow in being a man with a capital "M"...
Ladies First - So simple, so easy. Just open the damn door and let her in ahead of you. I’ve
seen way too many goofballs lumber in through a door ahead of
their girlfriends as if they were escorting cargo.
Lead - Don’t stand there with a stupid look on your face when you’re deciding what to
do. "I don’t know, what do you want to do?" is probably one of the
worst questions a man could ever ask his partner. You can engage with your
partner as equals and still be a leader by being considerate yet decisive.
Practice Honesty - If you make a promise that means you keep it, no exceptions. People will notice
if you are not consistent, if you “exaggerate” or don’t follow through with
what you said you were going to do. Practice radical honesty and become known
for your word.
Ask Her Out - This isn’t just for dating, ask her out when you’re already in a relationship.
Even if you’ve been married for 10 years, a date will keep your relationship
exciting.
Focus On Your Partner - Don’t yap about yourself all night. Focus on her dreams, her wants, and the
conversation will go your way soon enough.
A Compliment - It’s not something that’s crafted to get a reaction, it has to come straight
from your heart. Compliment her on occasion, but don’t go overboard.
Complements lose their efficacy just like caffeine if you use them too often,
or too much.
Kiss With Passion - Your Grandmas peck on the cheeks is not a good standard for the way you should
kiss your girlfriend, neither is the porn you watch online. When you kiss, even
when it’s quick, really feel it. Grab her hips and pull her tightly against
you, feel the kiss and experience the moment. It's better to say it with a kiss than to talk all day about how much you
care. Kiss often and everywhere.
Small Things - Send her a text or even a real paper letter randomly. Make it about her and
keep it simple, short, and sweet. Maybe surprise her on occasion with something
that is a little more well thought out. This doesn’t mean spending money, it
means paying attention to the small things which she enjoys.
Touch Her Softly - Learn to be more sensitive physically. Touch her softly at the right times to
create special moments. On the back of her neck, her hair, around the small of
her back, on her hands. Touch is reassuring and demonstrates a warm
personality, it also shows that you care.
Learn Massage - Your hands will be in big demand if you know how to use them. Just like with
sex, you will have to pay attention to what works, and practice till you become
amazing. Note: Just squeezing her muscles randomly and without attention doesn’t
count, learn the craft.
Share Your Mind - Go deep. Tell her about your passions, about how you imagine life, your goals,
and include her in the picture.
The Pitfalls To Avoid - Being a gentleman and a romantic doesn’t mean you’re a doormat that jumps when
she says jump. Women don’t respect that, nobody does. The opposite end of the
spectrum from the bastard with no manners is the guy with no balls, the human
doormat. The human doormat doesn’t stand up for himself or set boundaries. He is
always avoiding conflict, and in the end he will bore his girlfriend or wife to
death.
Being a man with a capital "M" means you learn when to be firm and when to give in. Sometimes
you give, sometimes you receive, but you always command respect and you give
respect too. A successful long term relationship demands it...
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