Sometimes I don't mix my feelings,and today is one of those days. Please let me take a moment to get some things off my relationship chest. And by the way, I'm still "Love's #1 Fan", but after learning of a relationship ending, a situationship revealed, two cancelled engagements, a pending divorce, I make no apologies for what you are about to read...
Love is a tricky thing. It varies in intensity and in the specificity of
emotions. It is sometimes the most beautiful thing in the world, and at other
times, it’s the most horrid thing we’ve ever come face-to-face with. Its odd
how one thing could be the cause of so many contrary feelings. But that’s what
makes love so beautiful – it’s the closest thing to perfection that exists in
the world, the only thing that can easily and comfortably encompass good and
evil, beautiful and ugly. It’s the closest thing to a flawless whole that man
has ever claimed to have been part of.
When we think of love, we think of the happy kind of love. The kind of love that
is the beginning of something beautiful – something that breathes life. There
is however, another kind of love, a much darker and sadder kind of love. It’s
the love one feels when one loves someone he or she can never and will never
have. It’s the kind of love that doesn’t signal the beginning of something
beautiful, but rather the end of something that might have been beautiful, but
will never amount to anything more than what it is.
Contrary to popular belief or popular wishful thinking, love doesn’t always
end happily. It doesn’t always result in the joining of two people, or the
fusing of two lives into one. Sometimes on rare occasions, it results in the
wedging apart of the two who love each other the most. You can love someone
with all your soul and never get a chance to be with that person. Even worse,
you can know that you love him or her, understanding there is no possibility
that the two of you will ever be together. Some people cannot and will not ever
end up together, even if they do love each other. It’s a sad truth, but a
truth, nonetheless.
Love simply is not enough. All those fairytales, all those stories and
movies you’ve heard and watched growing up, lied to you. Love is never enough
because love is not rational. You hear that love is irrational all the time,
yet you still hear the same people saying that love is enough to keep two
people together. Unfortunately, we live in a world governed by rationality, and
while love may be irrational, the real world always catches up with us and our
irrational illusions dissipate into thin air. Then we are left with reality,
and reality doesn’t always reason the way lovers do.
Some people don’t work out together. They have habits or beliefs that make
it impossible to cohabitate with the person they love. There isn’t a couple out
there that loves every little thing about one another. Sure, they may find
certain quirks cute or unique, but they don’t love them; they simply accept
them. There are some people who have such habits, tendencies, or thinking
patterns that really do make them incompatible with the other person. The two
may love each other fully, because remember, love isn’t rational, yet not be
able to live and deal with each other forever. This is why relationships
require compromise.
You’re not going to love everything about the person you are with, but you
love enough about him or her to live with the things you don’t love. Not all
people are willing to, or even able to compromise. Sometimes it just doesn’t
work, regardless of what our emotions tell us. Compromising, of course, is a
choice. You either choose to make it work or you choose not to. I believe this
fully. As long as something doesn’t go against your nature, over time you can
make it work. But there are still some cases when compromising isn’t enough. Sometimes
there are other reasons two people cannot and will not ever be together. In
fact, this is usually the deciding factor of whether or not two lovers will be
capable of spending their lives together: if they are able to forgive and
forget.
Because love is as intense an emotion as one gets, it occasionally leads us
to make poor choices – choices that are hurtful to the ones we love. They may
be poor calls of judgment, lies we told, or things we said. When it comes to
love, our pasts haunt us. We move from relationship to relationship, hauling that
entire set of luggage we managed to accumulate in our previous relationship. Because
lovers who can’t work together don’t like to accept this fact, they have a
tendency of breaking up and getting back together repeatedly. Each time they
take a break from each other, they come back and try to start fresh. But the
problem is, they’re still carrying that entire set of luggage. And sooner or
later, they start to unpack. All the demons come out.
When love scars, it cuts deep and the pain isn’t easily forgotten and
usually cannot be willfully forgotten. When you hurt the woman you love enough,
she won’t come back to you - and because you still love her, you wouldn’t take
her back even if she asked you to. You don’t trust yourself not to hurt her again
and even if you did, she wouldn’t trust you not to hurt her
again. Relationships are built on trust and you shattered her trust. Chances
are, you both have bruises that have never fully healed and likely will never
fully heal. And that’s just something you decided that you’ll have to live
with. Why? Because you really don’t have any other options. You just hope that
the two of you find others to love so you can think about each other less and
so you don’t have to worry about their happiness anymore. You wait in hopes
that new love can take the place of the old — which it can. But that doesn’t
mean you will ever stop loving each other. Some people will love each other
until the day they die, spending the majority of their lives apart. And so is
the darker side of love…
I feel there is a darker side to almost everything in this world be it relationship,love, marriage or jobs. The only thing one can do is fighting challenges and trying to look at them from a different angle.
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