Wednesday, November 19, 2014

What Men Need To Hear



Most of my articles revolve around what men can do and say to make the woman in their life feel valued and respected. I don’t believe that any man should need a reason or a reward in order to do these things, but one thing is for certain: Open affection and communication in a relationship needs to go both ways. It is not often that you will come across articles or discussions about how men need or want to feel loved. We are “supposed to be” the less emotional of the genders, and many times our desires for affection go overlooked. Regardless of how kind or easy going a man is, if he doesn’t feel loved, respected, and valued in a relationship — he will begin to slowly pull away from you. Here are the five things men need to hear that will give him something he can feel...

“You look handsome.” - A good man should always remind his woman just how beautiful he thinks she is (as well as complimenting her on non-physical traits of course), but it is also a great feeling for a man to be told he is handsome by someone he cares about. Just the word “handsome” holds a different meaning than other compliments and seems to hit us a little differently. It will give us a boost of confidence and keep us smiling for the rest of the day.

“I’m proud of you.” - Men see their self-worth differently than women do. I remember being asked why I am so driven to succeed professionally. “Isn’t being a good man enough?” We strive towards goals and accomplishments whether it be at our job or a business we have chosen to start. Much of our confidence is dependent on how well we do in accomplishing these goals. Having the support of the woman in our life and know that you think we are doing a good job (professionally or personally) is reassuring in ways that many other statements can never be. Knowing that we have the undying support of the woman we love will make us feel like we always have a safety net for when things get rough.

“I can really see the difference!” - Men get down on themselves about their bodies too. We all want to have better abs or a more defined chest. We want to feel like we can protect you, and ourselves. We want to feel strong. We want to feel like men. When we do put in the effort to start eating better and working out, we are hoping it gets noticed. But, not just by anyone — by you. Telling us that you can see an improvement (no matter how small) from our efforts will reinforce us and encourage us to continue along our path. Staying motivated is not easy.

“I won’t get mad if you tell me.” - It is no secret to the women reading this that many men out there are not the best communicators. They may keep things inside for multiple reasons. Maybe they are nervous about how you will react, maybe they are not great with words, or maybe they just never grew up thinking it was okay that they share their feelings. Either way, it will put him at ease knowing that he is able to open up to you, be uncensored, and say what he truly feels without you getting mad or upset. Side note: If you are going to tell him this, please make sure you really do not get mad.

“I trust you.” - With all of the negativity floating around in the world today, it is much easier to keep ourselves guarded and not fully trust somebody. The truth is, though, that if a man does not feel trusted he will constantly feel insecure in the relationship. He will feel that you will be suspicious of everything he does or says, and that you will not fully open up to him about how you feel. If a man knows that you trust him, it will bring a new level of security to the relationship.Trust is the cornerstone of any relationship, and without trust, true love cannot exist.

Inevitably, any time I write something like this, people will comment and say “well that goes for women too.” Of course it goes for women too. The things listed here should go both ways — but in the culture we live in, it is unfortunately often overlooked that men crave and desire this sort of affection as well. We want to feel wanted, respected, and loved. We communicate directly, so it is important for us to hear these things from the woman in our life if she really does feel them. If you have a good man in your life who strives to do his best for you, make sure he knows he is appreciated…

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1 comment:

  1. I feel there are always expectations and sometimes extraordinary expectations in a married life every now and then but there are always some solutions for this.

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