Why We Can't Let Go Of The Past

It’s been a long week and Friday is here. All of us can breathe a sigh of relief because we know that in the morning, Saturday will be here. I didn’t know what I wanted to post on today because at this point I’m tired of talking about what everyone else is talking about. I can say with full conviction, men have had a bad week. Not all of us, but the team as a whole took a few hits. However, today I’m going to talk about something different that hopefully won’t cause any controversy and we can just get along and reminisce.

The thing that keeps us from our future is always when our past is still our present. With that said, I wanted to explore the reasons why we sometimes can’t let go of our past. Keep in mind that I paid someone a helluva lot of money through the years in order to reach this kind of calm, and I only seek to share this with you so that you won’t have to do the same. Here are those reasons…

1. You think about how good it was when it was good and think you’ll never get back there again. – When you think back on your past, you can pinpoint when things were so great that you couldn’t imagine it getting any better. You sit and wonder will you ever get back to that again.
2. You convince yourself that no one will ever know you as well as your past. – When you’ve been with someone for some time, you begin to know them and they know you. They know all the things that make you happy and all the things that make you angry. That mutual understanding is tough to get back.
3. You don’t want to put the effort into building something that took years to build before. – Let’s say you were with your ex for 3-4 years, you sit and tell yourself that you don’t want to wait that amount of time to get back to happiness and that mutual understanding. One thing we have to realize is that it will take time and it won’t come easy.
4. You compare everyone to them. – I know one thing, you can’t compare the present to the past. The present will never match up. Even if that last relationship ended in turmoil, nothing will ever compare until you leave them in the past.
5. You haven’t ditched the memory of the past. – You have to stop thinking about it. You can’t continue to think about the best nap you ever had or that time you all just laughed for hours about a silly inside joke. The memory won’t go away, but if you dwell on it then you’re destined for doom.
6. You forget why you’re not your past. – When we spend time reminiscing about the past, then we forget about the end. We forget how things ended and why you said you’ll never talk to them again. We have ways of blocking out bad things when they happen to us, but we try our best not to block out the reasons why they’re not still in our past.
7. You never stop caring or loving but can’t decipher the difference between “in love” and “love.” – I truly believe that if you really love a person you will never stop loving them. You may not be in love with them, but you’ll still care for them and want the best for them, even if it’s not with you. The key is beginning to understand that you can love someone and not be with them, and that you can be in love with another person and not be in love with your past.

I can say from personal experience that the process of leaving the past behind is not easy. Your past will shape who you are today, and anyone who asks you to forget it is being completely nonsensical. You must do what you can to sunset your past and move to the present. Remember, the present is a gift that doesn’t come often and realize that you can move on past your past to something much better. Lastly, if this is too heavy for a Friday post just remember that tomorrow is a Saturday for you to do whatever errands you need to do, and the day after that is a Sunday where you can go to brunch and forget all about the past; at least for two or three hours... 

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