Online Dating

When people think of the term online dating, many imagine getting on a computer, browsing profiles, and exchanging emails with the opposite sex. Do yourself and myself a favor, wipe this image from your mind RIGHT NOW! Online dating is simply a great tool for finding a great person, then meeting them in person and sharing a great relationship. It is NOT about actually dating online, sitting in front of a computer for hours, cyber sex or making pen pals. What woman in her right mind wants to waste more time with a man they don’t even really know? Online dating is simply a great way to meet someone who is right for you, and guess what else? You aren’t the only one who realizes this. This breaks down into 3 very important steps…

#1. Figure Out If He Is A Catch - To meet the right man in the “real world”, you have to go out often, talk to lots of men, and hope to meet just one guy who doesn’t turn out to be a jerk, weirdo or a player, and then think on your toes in the moment to attract him. Online dating is the opposite. It “freezes time” and slows the process down so you have as much time as you need to find out exactly who you are talking to, what he’s all about and whether or not he is the type of guy you are looking for. Out of the thousands of men who have profiles on dating sites and social networks, only about 1 in 100 is what you would call “quality”. But the biggest problem is that ALL of them are pretending to be Mr. Right!

When a guy is filling out his profile, it’s very easy and tempting for him to add a few inches to his height, subtract a few inches from his waist, and add a few zeros to his income. It’s up to YOU to figure out whether you are talking to one of the “pretenders” or to a guy who doesn’t feel the need to pretend. Fortunately, there are some very obvious and easy-to-spot warning signs, along with a few specific questions you can ask, that will allow you to find out if you are talking to a dud or stud within minutes of looking at his profile, or within just one or two email exchanges. Very few men are going to tell you flat out that they don’t have their act together, or that they're carrying major baggage, or that they’re just looking for a quick fling, so you have to know how to pick the winners.

#2. Spot Whether Or Not They Are Looking For The Same Thing You Are - In order to avoid wasting your time talking to someone who isn’t right for you, it’s crucial that you find out where he or she is at, and if they are looking for the same type of relationship that you are from the start, so you know when to take something seriously, and when to move on. Ladies, I’m sure you know by now that we men aren’t very vocal when it comes to sharing our feelings and what we want. In fact, a lot of the time we haven’t thought too much about what we’re looking for in terms of a relationship. We’re just going along with what feels right and taking it from there. This means that a great guy who is looking for a woman to settle down with is highly unlikely to mention that he’s looking for a “committed relationship” in his profile. It’s very rare to see a guy saying things like, “I want to find my soul mate”, or “I am looking to settle down”. There are 3 reasons for this:

1. A man worries that if he puts these things in his profile he will look DESPERATE and NEEDY

2. Many men just plain don’t talk that way

3. Many men just plain don’t know what they want until they find and experience it

Fortunately, there are subtle clues a guy gives when he is looking for something more serious and substantial that are sort of like a man’s version of, “I want to settle down” and it’s important that you know what they are and how to spot them. Not all of the men you come across online will be looking for the same things you are. Some might just be looking for a fling or something more casual, and yes, some may already be in a relationship and are looking to stray.

#3. Build Attraction And Take Things To The “Real World” FAST - Have you or someone you know ever talked to someone online and gotten REALLY excited about meeting them in person, only to discover that when you did meet they were a little bit “off” or perhaps even totally different than they described? The beauty of meeting men online is that if you know what to look for and the right questions to ask, you can literally find out more about a man in 5 minutes of your time than most women find out in weeks, months, or even YEARS of dating. It’s often hard to spot whether or not you will have that “chemistry” when you finally do meet in person. I don’t need to tell you that wasting time talking to someone who ends up awkward in person, or is not your physical type, really...REALLY STINKS!

The fact of the matter is that no matter how good you get at “reading” a profile or knowing what questions to ask a man, chemistry is still chemistry. There are people you will like over email and phone that you just won’t feel it with in person. It’s all part of the game. So how do you handle this and make it work in your favor, instead of having it be a danger and a liability for you in dating online?

The best way to handle this is to first learn how to SCREEN people up front to make sure they are a fit, have the qualities you are looking for, and then to learn how to get the interest of the right man so he’s wanting to meet up with you and be open and honest with you right away. This way, you can avoid wasting your time emailing or chatting on the phone with a guy who isn’t going to work out. If you minimize the time you spend with a man BEFORE you meet, and you can get to the truth early on, you will be less likely to end up on “bad dates” and get frustrated over something that was never meant to be in the first place...

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