There’s a funny irony when you’re a writer who enjoys writing about relationships and dating. How could someone with all these wide
perspectives still be single? I’ve always thought that if
you’re in the business of sharing perspective then it’s all good. Like
Charles Barkley says, “There are no experts, only God is an expert.”
It’s a question I’ve gotten many times over during the four years I have been writing. At least I haven’t been single all four of these years.
For the last couple of years though, that’s been my middle name: Delvin "Single" Randle! It’s fun, and it’s pretty stress free, but it also happens to be a
side effect of knowing what you want and being patient enough for the
right situations to come your way.
During the time that you are single, you
begin to think if there are any things that you need to change about yourself. During the time that I've been
single, I have dated very few and have been involved with even fewer. I've had a
couple real prospects in the process. Sometimes the chemistry just fell off, while other times people have stopped contact with no explanation for it.
The list can go on, but the bottom line is that sometimes things sincerely
do not work out. It could be bad luck, I happen to just think that’s
it’s a part of the process. We all take different routes to get to the end
goal. It’s just like how we approach life in other ways. There are certain
circumstances and we all have to figure out to find what we desire. With that said, I started thinking that there
may be some things hindering my quest of finding Mrs. Right. I actually
think some of my reasons may coincide with a lot of you all.
Work - I’m realizing over the last few months that my
job is becoming increasingly difficult. My 9am to 5pm mentally drains me
almost on a daily basis. My 5pm to 9am mentality isn't too great either. I'm trying to take over the world and the plans in my head along with the execution has me a little more than frazzled sometimes. I’m admittedly frustrated with where I am and I'm looking
to leave. That fatigue I’m experiencing affects so much around me. This
could also lead to my next point.
Putting Myself Out There - I’m 48 years old
and I don’t fear commitment not one bit. I do however absolutely fear with everything within me wasting my time with the wrong people. I have a clear idea of the kind
of woman I think I can be committed to, and I’m confident that I’ll know
who she is once I vibe with her. Unfortunately, my struggle comes with putting
myself in places where that can happen. As I just mentioned, I’m more
exhausted daily than I have ever been. My weekends are now reserved for
furthering the passions of others as well as my own. This includes getting me my upcoming radio show
off of the ground, along other endeavors that has taken up my time after
work. Even if those tasks didn’t exist, sometimes my body just wants to
rest. I recognize this, and I also realize what comes with that. I think a
great thing for me to do would be to hit more after work happy hours.
I’m just so dog tired after 8pm, that it seems impossible to do with
vigor. This might sound like a couple of excuses, but it depends
on who thinks so. What I can say is that these are some areas where I
fall short. I’m open to making a concerted effort to change these
things. If time is lacking, maybe I need to make time. These could be
reasons as to why I haven’t found that right one as yet.
I wrote this today to ask you all if you have ever asked yourself if you fall short somewhere? We write (or talk) so much about our ideals and what we’re seeking, when it
could be something within ourselves that we need to tweak. I’m not
talking about tweaking for the sake of conformity, I’m talking about
tweaking because you feel there are some genuine changes to be made. I’m
going to try my darnedest to switch a couple of things up. We’ll see
how the shots fall, but I do think it’s important to be introspective at
times and do some self diagnostics. These were just two of the ways in
which I think I may be hindering myself. There might be even more. Have you guys ever been in this situation? Do you all take the time to see if it really is you and not them? You better start making some changes if you're in this like I feel I am...
relationshiplessons.net
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