It seems when we’re not looking for a relationship, that’s when one finds
us. Isn’t that how it always happens? It’s like we’re putting off some signal
that reads, “I’m finally happy just being with myself,” and suddenly, someone
appears who wants to be with us. New relationships are as scary as they are
exciting, especially when you were perfectly happy with your single life, not
really willing to settle down and do the whole “commitment” thing. You were
wholly satisfied with your job and with relying on your friends for company. Yet,
here is this amazing person who wants to be with you.
Maybe you’ve been hurt before and are guarded, or maybe you just don’t want
to dive into something serious. You hold them off for as long as you can. This
new person in your life fights to be with you, and you’ve got to admire
him or her for really wanting this. It’s flattering to be pursued. It feels
good. It feels good to be wanted, to be told you’re special. As much as you
don’t feel you need it, you start to really want it. Perhaps it’s finally
having regular sex again, or maybe it’s the fact that this person is someone
you can really laugh and be yourself with. Either way, you start to find your
heart weakening to him or her. You start to realize you really are having
feelings for this person. So, after much resistance, you acquiesce to the label
and become someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend. You know you were happy being
single, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to be loved, right? We all just
want to be loved when all is said and done.
You finally get comfortable. It takes awhile for you to finally feel relaxed in this new relationship.
You’re a strong person who is, all at once, afraid of getting hurt. As the
months pass, you let your guard down like you said you never would. Everything
just feels so easy. You start to miss him or her when he or she isn’t around.
You long for your partner. When you’re together, you find yourself constantly
wanting to hold your partner’s hand or kiss him or her. It’s like you
can’t get enough. Just like a good orgasm, once you get a taste of love, you
just want more of it.
You’re happy in a different way than you’ve ever been before. You’ve officially stopped worrying about getting your heart broken because
you’re in a healthy relationship for once. You fought this, but now you’re so
glad your partner stuck it out. He or she couldn’t hurt you. How could someone
who wanted you so badly ever do anything to ruin this?
You’re “almost in love”. You start to realize you might actually love this person. You can
feel yourself falling for him or her more and more each day. You even
admit to your best friend that you might seriously be falling in love.
You, the perpetually single friend, the person always so obsessed with your
freedom has, in fact, gotten bitten by the love bug. You’re happily surprised
you can have feelings like these after all. You’re not even frightened by how
good it feels. Everything is going to work out this time. If things can go on
this way, you’ll stop “almost loving” your partner and start to really, deeply
love him or her. It’s that strange cusp between intense infatuation and losing
your heart completely. Your love does not come easily, but once given, you are
all in. For you, it is everything or nothing. This feels like everything.
And then suddenly things end. Then, as quickly as a shooting star brilliantly soars through the night
sky, it’s all finished. Your partner ends it. You didn’t see it coming. Or at
least you pretended you didn’t. Once you’re wrapped up in someone, once your
heart is in it, it’s very hard to accept that it isn’t going to be your happily
every after. One day it was, and the next day it wasn’t. It wasn’t your choice.
That might be the hardest part of it. What did you do to cause this? Nothing.
Absolutely nothing. Things just end; they don’t work out. The fiery passion you
had with your partner just dissipates for him or her. He or she
disappears. You’re left to burn up. You kick yourself for getting yourself into
this mess. You didn’t even want this in the first place, remember? You let
yourself have feelings. This person made you fall for him or her only to
destroy everything like a sudden and mighty cyclone. It’s so incredibly
disappointing. You don’t even know who your partner is anymore. It’s almost
terrifying. Who did you give your heart to? You could have really, really loved
him or her. You almost loved this person. You almost got to a place where you
could have given him or her everything. You were happy and comfortable; now
you’re alone.
You find self-love again. The only thing you can do is pick up the pieces of your life and rekindle
that love you had with yourself long before you fell into a relationship. You
have to remember you were happy with your life without this person, and you
will be happy with your life again. This person doesn’t deserve you. He or she
was never going to give you the kind of unconditional love you needed. Take
comfort in that. It was better to know sooner than later. Your heart may be
aching, but people come into our lives for a reason. They teach us what they
need to teach us. Sometimes, they weren’t meant to be in our lives forever.
It’s a hard to truth to accept, but we have to in order to survive. Just be
happy that you CAN love someone. Now that you’ve opened your heart to someone,
maybe next time it can be something more than “almost love”...
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