I've made lists of my must-haves and have nots before. I made them mostly because I know there are
unequivocally things you need any guy you date to have. You know, the basic core things, but it can't hurt to think a little bigger. That's not to say you need to have a laundry list of requests so long
that it's impossible to find someone who meets all the criteria. Nor is that to
say that you should be limiting yourself to one specific "type" of guy.
I'm just saying that listing off all of the things you really, truly
want in a guy is not a bad idea, and can help you recognize a great guy
for you when you've found one. Here's a list of universal good-guy qualities that can help get you started.
1. He's kind to everyone.
Not just you on your best day but you on your worst. Same goes for
the waiter who brought the wrong appetizer, his coworkers, his family, your family, and pretty much everyone. Someone who is genuinely kind spreads kindness wherever he goes.
2. He's genuinely happy.
2. He's genuinely happy.
A happy person is not only a healthy person, but also someone who is optimistic and fulfilled. Who wouldn't love a life with someone like that?
3. He loves you.
Yeah I know, but I mean he loves the real you. Not just the way you look,
or the things you do for him, or the fact that you are conveniently 4
inches shorter. He must love the unique things about you, like how you're always 30
minutes late to everything, how you put exactly three lemons in all your
drinks, the long-winded way you tell a story, and how you always need
the toilet paper roll so that the top flap faces down.
4. He makes you smile.
When you're with him, and when you think about him. This voluntary reaction somehow isn't voluntary, but becomes emotionally mandatory for your existence. If out of the clear blue sky, the very thought of his presence doesn't overtake you with a big goofy grin at some point, then you may have to re-think him.
5. You can be yourself around him.
No matter how much you might be into someone, it's never going to be real until you can let down your guard around him. I know it's hard these days to let your defenses down with anyone, but if he ever has a chance to be in your heart, you gotta send "the representative" away and let him see who you really are.
6. He's the only one you fantasize about.
You know that thing that always turns your head when a good looking guy walks
by? Maybe you're a sucker for pretty eyes, or broad shoulders, or
chiseled arms? Sex
appeal is a total package that mercifully factors in more than just abs,
and your guy doesn't need any of those things as long as he's
the one you want to be with.
7. He doesn't put up with your crap.
Whether it's yelling instead of talking, being passive-aggressive
when you're upset, or some sort of family/work issue you're taking out
on him. He knows your patterns and not only talks to you about them
kindly but offers support when and where you need it. Someone who can see you to your very core, accepts your flaws, and only wants to help you be a better person? That's love.
8. He puts you first.
When it comes down to it, you are the number 1 most important person in his life, and there are no questions about that. If his friends want to do a guy's weekend, he says no
because he's got a good thing going with you, doesn't want to get into
trouble, and knows it will mean missing that concert you really want to
go to. If his mom hates the wallpaper you chose for your first
apartment together, you'll never find out, because he tells her he's happy if
you're happy, and that's the end of it.
These are just a few things, but I'm sure there are more. Remember, this is not THE list, just a few things FROM the list. Give him an opportunity to expand the list to add a few things you never would've considered otherwise. If he does, then he's on his way and could be a keeper...
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I feel there is a need to provide more and more useful aspects of how married life should actually be and what precautions should be taken in order to avoid breaking it or separations.
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