Premature Expectation: The Relationship Killer

Ladies sit down, relax and pay attention, because I’m about to show you how to avoid any more dating stress and anxiety. I am about to show you how to avoid the trap of relationship expectations. But what are relationship expectations, and how do you know if you have them?

Well, let’s say you start dating a new man. He’s amazing in every way imaginable. You start to think to yourself. “I can’t believe how lucky I am. He’s amazing. This is the perfect relationship for me.”

Then you go into relationship forecaster mode. You start predicting when you’re going to marry him and start a family with him. You even start to plan some of the little details of your “big day.” You get so carried away with the future, you forget to remain present and in the moment. You want and need this relationship to work out, but you’re blind to the possibility anything could possibly go wrong. Then all of a sudden, something changes. The relationship breaks down and you’re left broken-hearted.

One of the main reasons your relationships never work out how you plan them, is because you CAN’T plan a relationship. It has to unfold naturally. When you meet someone for the first time, remain open and present, and that way you’ll find out who that person really is.

It’s fine trying to understand men better. It’s fine learning how to connect with men on a very deep level, but even the greatest understanding of what men want and desire in a relationship, doesn’t help you predict the future behavior of one individual man. The only way you can truly get a sense of where a relationship is heading is to be open at all times. Listen to what your man says. Watch his actions. Feel the way he holds and kisses you. Pay attention to everything around you, and you’ll protect yourself from false hope and expectations. It is so very important for you remain present and grounded. It’s the only way to stop yourself from becoming involved in a relationship based on fantasy. When you think about it, relationship forecasting is no different to a 10-day weather forecast. How many times do the weather people get their predictions correct? You can’t forecast relationships, because there’s no way of forecasting something as unpredictable as another human being and their behavior.

Love is unpredictable. In a way, that’s what makes it so fun and exciting, but living in the future is the quickest way to set yourself up for a fall. Remember that men are very much “in the moment” so if you try to get too far ahead of us you’re going to push us away. Enjoy your relationships for what they are, and let them unfold naturally. Just think how boring life would be if you knew exactly what was around every corner. That’s not how life should be, and it’s not how love should be.

So, from this moment on, I want you to make me a promise. No more relationship expectations. There will be a time to expect things from him, but don't jump the gun too soon or else you'll be looking for sun when in fact it's going to rain...