Saying I Love You First

A lot of people celebrate the anniversary of their first date, their major relationship milestones and especially their wedding day, but I really think relationships begin with the first “I love you.” It solidifies that you two are having more than just fun. At that point, you’re in a relationship. I once read a survey showing that 76 percent of serious relationships started with the man saying “I love you” first. While this might come as a shock to those who think that men aren’t as emotionally demonstrative in relationships, it makes total sense to me. Men should be the ones to say “I love you” first, and here is why...

We’re born to do it - I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again many more times in the future. Men are hunters. We need to go out and get what we want. Most of us are not born to be passive recipients. Saying “I love you” is a step in a relationship, just like a first date or a first kiss. Men want to be the ones to take that step first. Do I think men should be the initiators because women can’t do these things? Absolutely not, but I do think women initiating upsets the natural order of things and makes it tougher on the relationship. Saying “I love you” is a new chapter of a relationship, and men should be the one to turn the pages in the book of love.

It shows our commitment - Saying “I love you” is an undeniable commitment. It’s taking a giant leap forward in the relationship. When we say those three words to you first, it indicates that we want to take that step forward with you. In an age when "male commitment-phobia" runs rampant, that first “I love you” is a nice sign from your partner, showing that he's in your relationship for the right reasons.

It gives us one last chase - Like I said above, men are hunters by nature, and we also love the chase by nature. Men saying “I love you” first gives you a little power and him a little room to chase you, as long as you don’t say it back right away. Those few minutes, hours, days or weeks you wait between receiving the initial “I love you” and giving your own are a delicate dance. Your man is waiting for you to say something back. Of course, you should do what is natural to you and say “I love you” as you feel it. Don’t hold out just for the sake of holding out, but know that after you have sex for the first time, there aren’t many chases left in a relationship, so savor it. 

Let’s do a quick poll in the comments. Ladies, did you say “I love you” first, or did your guy say it first? Feel free to share what happened in your case with me...