The Story of Prince Harming

Most of us have had our heart broken once or twice by partners whom we thought were “The One”. When you began dating, your relationship felt like you won the relationship lottery among millions who are trying to take a chance on love. In the first few months of being together, your boyfriend posed as the best man you’ve ever met. A couple of months later, he starts to show his side of “Mr. Hyde” (he was the evil one, right?) and until you look closely, you realize he's not the best out there for you. You start to feel like you've been robbed of your happily ever after, and your prince shows you that he's only a frog.

Then as problems come, you discover that your boyfriend isn’t really that concerned for you at all. When he tells you to "do whatever you want" and he says "he won’t mind", what he really means is you should mind your own business and not care about his, because he totally doesn’t care about yours. You didn't read the fine print of your relationship contract, and you should've looked closely to see what you’re getting yourself into.  Now you don’t know how to get out, because you’re already in too deep and you don’t want to feel embarrassed with your family and friends that your Prince Charming is actually Prince Harming, who only comes when it’s time to have fun and does more harm than he could ever do good. And men wonder why nice girls turn into witches or have their defenses up 24/7.

Ladies, please, please, PLEASE…try to hold off as much as you can before giving everything that you have to a man. It's wonderful to fall in love, but it's also right to look after your heart and your dignity. At present, there are guys out there who have a checklist of the women they want to prey on, yet there are still a few good men among this generation. You just have to be very patient and vigilant to see beyond the gifts, the fancy car(s), expensive food, trips, and paycheck. All men would want to impress you initially to gain your confidence, but a real man will be proud to have you by his side and will show you off all the time even when he doesn't have anything impressionable to impress you with.

A real man who wants a commitment is open to compromise. He will be flexible and will show his attention to details in every aspect of your relationship. I repeat, every aspect of your relationship, no matter how foolish it may seem. It's important for him that he cares not only for your feelings, but for your pride as a woman as well. He will be hurt when you are hurting, and will give genuine comfort to you when you’re crying. A real man will wait for you, no matter how long it takes, or how hard it may be, and will do everything in his capacity to give you his last name. Love is an investment, so make sure the assets can outweigh the liabilities and the relationship value will always appreciate as time passes. As for the frog, we all seem to come across a few. For the sake of Prince Harming, maybe it's better if we lay off kissing them for a while...

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What Men Want...Really

I was reading an article about "what men really want" in a relationship, but the problem was it was written by a woman and it didn’t really resonate with me. A few nights later some guy friends of mine and I started talking about it, and we came to the general consensus that she was right some of the time but also wrong some of the time too. It seemed like a good time for a little research, so I took mental notes of what was said. So here now is a modified version of that topic, but with the input of 5 men (2 married, 1 single with a girlfriend, and 2 single without a girlfriend) basically thinking what we as men want in a relationship.

What We Want

• Low Maintenance – This was an across the board pick. Not to say that we don't want women to not look good, but we don’t want them to spend forever getting ready. We are more than willing to help do things, but we do not want to be expected to do everything for you. Being a partner does not equal slave or care-giver (or eternal purse holder).
• Gentle and Kind – If we wanted rough and manly, then we would just hang out with each other. All of us agreed that a sensitive, gentle, and caring woman is someone who will love us the way we want to be loved.
• Attractive - This is a broad range answer but the bottom line is we want someone who takes pride in how she looks and is confident about themselves (confidence is VERY sexy). Other than that, it varies as to what we all find attractive as we have different types.
• A Challenge – We want someone who pushes us a little to do more in life. This isn’t someone who nags or complains, but a partner who wants to try new stuff and keep us from forming ruts.
• Funny - You don’t have to be a stand up comic, but we all agreed a woman who laughs and likes silly humor is just more fun.
• Supportive – Three of us said we want a woman who has our back and will support us when we need her. Two of us said they don’t want a woman who just criticizes us, but all of us are actually saying the same thing.

What We Don’t Want

• Angry Women – People who are tense, shout, and get frustrated really easily are a no-go...no matter how beautiful you are.
• Untrustworthy – Someone who could stab us in the back or break our heart is out of the running.
• Being Alone – Bottom line, we like to have someone with us and we usually will put up with a lot if we think that person is worth it.

Really, it's not a big list. I am sure guys in different phases of life will have different wants. But these are the things my friends and I agreed on for likes and dislikes when looking for a woman for the long term...

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