How to Know You Are "THAT" Woman

There are so many positive changes a good woman can bring into a man’s life. Ask any happily married man and he will tell you this to be true. When a man finds the love and affection of the right woman, his life will be positively impacted forever. So the question lingers. Are you that woman in your man’s life? Are you the type of woman he needs to achieve his goals and find true happiness?

Here are a few signs that you are.

Sign #1: He is more optimistic. If the man in your life out of nowhere becomes cheerful and optimistic about the future, it might be because of you. Everyone needs that special person in their life that makes them feel as if the world has no limits. If he sees the future as a bright and amazing place that holds no boundaries, chances are you are partly responsible for his enthusiastic growth.

Sign #2: He opens up more. Us men can sometimes be emotional vaults that don’t open unless you possess the right key, and research has shown that is not healthy. Here's my chance to intentionally show off my relationship skills (unintentionally, of course): The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology reported that emotions are tied to our nervous system, which controls our heart rate, blood pressure, digestion, respiration, and perspiration, showing clearly that physical and emotional health are connected. If your guy opens up to you and let’s you know about the things that worry or stress him, this is a positive sign and you are likely the only person he shares these feelings with. Most men have a hard time opening up emotionally, leading them to carry around a weight of built up stress, which can lead to long term health problems like heart disease. If you are the person he feels comfortable opening up to, allowing him to share this emotional burden, then you are definitely the type of woman he needs in his life.

Sign #3: He wants a promotion, or a come up. Are you noticing his ambition levels rising? He wants a higher paying job, he’s talking about going back to school to further his education, maybe even starting his own business. If he’s motivated to succeed more than ever now that you are by his side, then you are no doubt having a positive impact on him. Your support means more than you realize.

Sign #4: He is more empathetic. Empathy is something that women tend to possess more of than men, and that becomes less pronounced when a man meets the right woman. The ability to understand and sympathize with another person is a positive trait men tend to gain when the right woman comes into their lives. If you have helped him see that love and compassion is just as powerful as anger and aggression, you are definitely the type of woman he needs in his life.

If you notice all or at least a few of these signs when it comes to your man, be assured that you are the type of woman he needs. When two people come together romantically they should improve each other by filling in each others weaknesses, making them better together than when they are apart. Any two people that can trigger this positive growth in each other were meant to be together...

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Men Are Not Mindreaders

There are articles on top of articles, and books on top of books telling women what they should or shouldn’t do in relationships. I know you ladies are tired of it too, and I hear and see your complaints. There is this overall sense that men aren’t urged to hold themselves accountable for their actions, and I do understand and somewhat agree with that sentiment. But after all the finger-pointing is over, there still lies a disconnect. So what can we do about that?

Contrary to what some ladies may have been told, men are not mind readers, no matter how much you may want us to be. Should we know certain things? Sure, but ultimately for any change to happen we have to know a problem exists. I have lady friends complain to me about men all the time, and I never fail to ask them, “Did you tell him what he said wrong? Did you tell him how he made you feel when he did that to you? Did you tell him not to address you as ‘Ma’ because he’s not your son? Did you tell him to open your door for you because you only date guys who exhibit chivalry?” I’m not suggesting that men should not already come to you pre-packaged with common sense, but common sense unfortunately, isn’t so common anymore. So before you dismiss the man, take time to consider the factors that may have contributed to his behavior. He may have never seen a successful healthy relationship up close and personal. His influences may only be Hip-Hop Music, reality shows and misogynistic movies. He may have also come across women in his past with low self-esteem and/or lack of patience to correct him on his behavior as it pertains to his interaction with women.

This in no way is a cop-out for him, but it is a likely possibility. In order to move forward in a more beneficial direction for women (collectively), two things must happen: 

1. Men must be willing to make the necessary changes and educate themselves on a more tasteful way to interact with their female counterparts. 

2. Women must embrace the power they have to educate him on how disrespectful it is when he calls you pet names on the first encounter, or how insensitive he comes off when he fails to hear your point of view on a disagreement.

He may not be as receptive if you’re saying these things boisterously, but tap into your innate nurturing side and correct that man with love. This is one step towards a giant leap for the betterment of male-female interaction, even if he has already ruined his chances with you, maybe he’ll approach the next woman with a bit more sense.

Quick note for the Gentlemen: She’s not your mother, so don’t call her ma. Ask her what her name is, then use it until further notice. She knows she’s beautiful, you’ve mentioned it two times within your first two sentences. She’s much more than what you see on the exterior, so get to know her. There’s nothing wrong with stroking egos — and speaking of egos, tone yours down. Every woman is not for you, so don’t act like a petulant spoiled brat when she respectfully declines your advances. Take it in stride, wish her a wonderful day and keep it moving. Listen and resolve the tension. 

The power is within us, let’s end the disconnect. Class is dismissed for today!

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