Inside the Mind of the Cheating Man

A man, given the opportunity, will be confronted with an opportunity to cheat. I have been in that scenario before, and I've failed miserably. This is from a man's viewpoint the excuses men have in their mind for cheating...

1. She ain’t what she used to be.Like Adam, the typical man can’t resist the temptation of riper fruit, especially if the woman in his life has let herself go. If she got lazy or gained weight or just doesn’t take care of herself, a guy will start looking at other women. Women who want to keep their men on a short leash need to take a good, hard look in the mirror, and men should do the same. He might be a complete slob and still be demanding perfection from her. It’s the typical double standard. For their part, guys should also make an effort to rediscover the spark at home. All the evidence shows that when women feel safe and connected, you’re better at taking care of your partner.

2. No one loves a ball buster.Perhaps nothing will drive a married man into the arms of another woman faster than a nagging woman. A woman didn't do something that excuses cheating. So whatever the relationship dynamic, it’s not healthy to begin with if it leads to infidelity.

3. She just doesn’t “get” me.Men who cheat say they don’t feel understood by their mate. But it’s not always the woman. Mostly they’re either angry or afraid to connect. It’s easier for men to go outside the relationship than work it out with their partner. I see this triangulation a lot. A deep-seated fear of intimacy can be hard for some guys to overcome. And they’re more likely to cheat again, especially if they don’t go to couples therapy.

4. It’s the thrill.Most guys who have affairs are getting in touch with their inner caveman: They like to play with fire, it adds a level of danger, and danger adds to the excitement. By keeping surprise and sizzle in your sex life, a woman can keep the home fires burning so hot that her man won’t have any reason to cheat. But that's not the whole story, men also cheat because of fear, loneliness or anger. The betraying partner's failure to deal with these feelings is what causes him to be unfaithful.

5. Blame it on the “hunter.”Often, married men who cheat can’t quite explain their motivation. They just find themselves compelled to bust out of their day-to-day routine in search of something new. It’s a primitive instinct that dates back to their role as hunter and gatherer, only this time they’re hunting and gathering new women. Ladies, you can protect themselves by getting wise to this behavior early in the relationship, and getting out. You can find out more about a man’s dating history by watching how he acts in a room full of gorgeous women (one of the best tests there is out there). If you can’t rein him in when your romance is new, you’ll never control him down the road when your life together is more settled.

6. Biology, baby.It’s our biological nature to be with as many females as possible. Once we’ve seen a woman naked several times, it becomes commonplace. It doesn’t matter who you are, we've become accustomed to your body and want to experience something different – different lips, different body types. We’re only monogamous because we realize that love and friendship are more important than having sex with strangers. Whether it’s evolution, biology or simple novelty, infidelity researchers agree that men do seek different sex partners. However, the decision whether to cheat is entirely in a man’s control. Most men don’t act on those desires because they don’t want to jeopardize social reputations or marriages.

7. It’s just sex.For most guys, sex and love are two entirely different things. Some men (and I was one of them)really believe, we could still love our wives and want to have sex with other women. We separate it in our brains. That rationale allows guys to cheat guilt-free, with one notable exception: Any guilt that a man has after sex isn’t about the sex itself, it’s about the consequences...Will she be a stalker? Will my wife find out?

Finally, let me close by saying this. If a guy is in a committed, monogamous relationship, he should ask himself one question before he cheats: Is it worth it? He should consider the worst-case scenario, meaning that his wife or significant other finds out and is now brokenhearted. Is it worth it? Thanks to the Internet, it’s easier for men to cheat anytime, anywhere…while they’re watching TV or on the laptop in bed next to their sleeping wives. I'm not just talking about the physical act either, cheating is defined as anything that breaches a relationship contract. That includes sexy communication and flirting that’s kept secret from your partner.

Sponsored by: