Embracing Differences

There are many differences between men and women, both in the way we're designed physically and the way we process things emotionally. And I'm sure you've noticed that the way we view relationships is also very different. While the differences may seem vast, they're pretty simple when you break it down, so let's do it! I want to preface this by saying that I know there are exceptions, but for the sake of clarification, I'm going to be speaking about the way men and women are in general.

 

In general, the appeal of a relationship for a women is the relationship. Women naturally gravitate towards the idea of marriage and it's something that usually has great appeal. An ideal relationship for a woman is one where she feels understood and connected to her significant other and for her, communication is essential. An ideal man is one who truly understands her.

The ideal relationship for a man is one where he gets to feel like the man. Men don't have the same need to understanding as women do. Rather, men like to feel acknowledged, respected, and appreciated. Men typically enjoy the role of being givers, so for a man, the ideal woman is one who can happily receive and there is nothing sexier or more appealing to him than a happy woman who appreciates everything he has to offer. While men love to give, they don't always know what it is you need and most relationship problems arise from basic communication malfunctions where a woman goes about trying to tell a man what she needs in the wrong way.

For instance, if your boyfriend or husband is hardly ever home, rather than saying "why aren't you ever home?" say "I really love it when you're here." If your partner isn't meeting your needs, it is always a much better strategy to tell him what you want rather than constantly affirming what it is you don't want, and pointing out the ways in which he's failing to meet your needs. Remember, he wants to make you happy and the more appreciated he feels, the more he will go out of his way to give you what you want.

It is also worth noting that men respond to specific compliments much more than abstract ones, for instance, saying something like, "Thank you for doing the dishes, that was so thoughtful of you" packs more punch than something general like "You're so thoughtful." This can be an area of confusion since women are thrilled with general compliments (You're so smart, pretty, nice, funny etc.).

While the principles I've outlined may seem fairly straightforward and universally understood, they often get completely ignored. The biggest mistake most women make in relationships is assuming men think just like they do. It is only when we embrace our differences and see the other side more clearly that healthy communication can flourish. Try it out for yourselves and you'll see what I mean!