From The Men Who Hurt You...

Late last night or early this morning, I was up watching a reality show. Out of fear of embarrassment and being judged, I'll keep the name of that show to myself. In this particular episode, this guy's live in girlfriend who is the mother of his children, finally had enough of his ways and his “it’s all about me, I’m a star” attitude. The last straw was when he missed the family dinner while his kids are back from college. That night as she was getting ready to go to bed, someone e-mails her a picture of him walking out of a restaurant with two scantily clad women on his arms.

While watching this play out, I had to admit that personally last week was a tough week for me. In talking to women everyday I often hear the worst stories about men, but last week was the worst. I heard so much bad news and stories that it even had me wondering if there are any good men left.

Now I know there are lots of good men out there that are dying to find a special woman that they can commit to. But after watching this episode I was left scratching my head. I was amazed at the callous, I don’t give a crap, I’m gonna do what I want to do attitude of this man. It made me realize the depths of the pain that many of these men cause and how this pain can literally affect a woman and her ability to have a loving and trusting relationship. There was one simple thing that He had to do to clean it up. He simply had to realize how much his actions affected his girlfriend. A simple, "I'm sorry" and a commitment to clean things up and make things right between them might have gone a long way. But she never got it, and now she looks back on her relationship with this man with a broken heart, lots of regrets and tons of questions. This crazy reality drama had me up early today thinking about how this once was me, therefore I decided to address this behavior today.

I’ll be the first to admit that there are plenty of men out there who don’t treat women with the love and respect they deserve. And because these guys aren’t man enough to own up to their shortcomings, they make excuses or blame their mates. It’s a very childish and juvenile way for a man to act and certainly not a way which is conducive to being in a loving and committed relationship. It's not uncommon for a man’s actions to cause so much pain for a woman, that the effects are long lasting and sometimes permanent. One man can cause a woman so much pain that her ability to trust and be in a loving committed relationship becomes shattered forever. The reality show bothered me because all he had to do was be a MAN and to step up to the plate and accept responsibility for his actions and to do his best to try and clean it up. Why is something so simple so hard to do for some men? I started thinking of all the women who never got the apology or explanation they deserved. I started thinking about the women who never got the apology from ME that they deserved.

Now I don't consider myself a boy scout by any means, and I have done some God awful, crappy things in my life. I have hurt the ones who loved me and I haven't always done my best to clean up my mistakes and to take responsibility for my actions, but as I was watching this episode I had an idea. I understand that there may have been someone who hurt you. You never got the answer, the explanation, or the apology that you deserved…and sad to say you probably never will. That doesn’t bother me, because from my own selfish experiences I know personally that “what comes around goes around”. So mark my words, somewhere, sometime he will reap what he sows.

What does bothers me is knowing that the type of men that I once was myself, will continue to rob women of the POWER to have the love they deserve. Their actions have hurt and caused you so much pain, that it is very difficult for you to open up for the fear it may happen again. And that is the part that sucks because no matter what that person did, no matter what they said, and no matter how much they hurt you, they don't deserve to have that power. So I have decided to apologize on their behalf. I fully believe that if these men would realize the depth of their pain they would get down on their knees and ask for your forgiveness. But it’s probably not going to happen, and the reason it is not going to happen is because they just don’t understand. I do it not for them, as much as I do it for me and for you. It's my intention that you put this hurt to bed and release it, so that you can go on and have the happy and fulfilling relationship you desire and deserve!

So tomorrow, you'll read from the apology from me that you should have recieved from him...