It bothers me that there are a lot of women out there who act as their own fortune teller, predicting that they’re doomed to go through one failed relationship after the other. You’ll usually find them echoing self-prophecies like: “I’m just not girlfriend material.”or “I’ll never meet the right guy for me.” or “When I lose these pounds, then I’ll be ready to date.”…and the list goes on. Chances are, you’ve heard a female friend, relative or co-worker complain along the same lines. Or worse, you might have even entertained these thoughts yourself! If you have, don’t worry...it’s just fear talking.
The mind has a funny way of playing tricks on you and exaggerating your anxieties to a ridiculous level. When you start indulging these self-defeating thoughts, just remind yourself that you’re not a victim of your circumstances. On the contrary, there’s plenty you can do to make your OWN luck instead.
1. Dress for Success - You might tell me, “Men should like as me I am!”, but let me ask you: does your sense of style allow guys to see the REAL you…or does it obscure it? One of the first things you should know about men is that we’re visual creatures. Like good food, we “eat with our eyes first”. How would a guy know a dish is great if it doesn’t look the part? It’s not that we’re superficial; men just need to know that you’re making a visible effort to take care of yourself. Trust me, we’re NOT after perfection. The women we swoon over are the ones who package themselves in a way that takes their best features and amplifies them like crazy. In other words, getting your foot in the door is about working with what you have. With the help of a trusted friend or close confidant, do an honest self-evaluation. Here are a few points to cover:
- Does my current style truly represent who I am?
- What can I do to build on what I already have?
- Do my clothes flatter or hamper my physical attributes?
- What should I keep in my closet? Throw out?
Once you’ve gone through these basics and implemented the necessary tweaks to your style, you’ve already won a third of the battle.
2. Your Attitude Tells Others How To Treat You - I’ve always believed that the way you treat yourself is like looking into a mirror. The attitude you put out into the world will reflect right back at you! As a guy, I see this in self-depreciating yet otherwise charming ladies. Certain female friends and colleagues of mine take note of every infinitesimal flaw they have and dwell on it. When you go into the dating scene with such a self-conscious mindset, it’s going to affect the way you act around guys. Men might not be as expressive with their feelings as women are, but they can certainly pick up on a nervous vibe. So maybe you’re not perfect; like I said before, no one expects you to be. If there’s something about yourself that’s bothering you, you have two options: Just work on it, or just go with it. Whether you’re plus size, have a quirky sense of style, or have a birthmark on your shoulder, don’t make anyone feel that you’re sorry to have these distinguishing features.If you feel like something’s wrong with you, men will be inclined to agree! But what if you saw your unique traits as a badge of pride instead? Then you’d turn the tables on your self-conscious inner voice and embrace your individuality – NOW this is what men love!
3. Don't Put Your Happiness On Hold - I once heard someone say, “When are you going to have thoughts of success, after you’re successful?” In the same way, you shouldn’t wait to be happy with yourself until you’ve achieved a certain milestone, like being in a relationship. Otherwise, you’d just be fueling the mistaken perception that you’re “incomplete” in some fundamental way. I’m here to tell you that you’re not lacking just because you might happen to be single at the moment. The ironic thing about a great relationship is that it usually happens when you’re not spending all of your time looking for it.
Most of the women I know (my girlfriend included!) focus on having generally well-rounded lives and living every day with passion. They’re out there, working on their friendships, careers, hobbies, and everything else that makes men WANT to be part of their lives! In many ways, attracting guys becomes less of a conscious effort when you don’t put pressure on them to make you happy. There’s a difference between going out with a guy just for the pleasure of his company, and putting pressure on him to be your sole source of validation in life. Remember: no guy wants to be obligated to fill in such a position in your life!
I’ve seen many of my guy friends in similar situations, they usually get turned off and end up bailing out. So if you’re wondering why he “didn’t call back”, this is one of those reasons. If there’s anything about attracting men you should bear in mind, it’s that it’s not a random, luck-of-the-draw type of deal. Your life isn’t pre-destined to follow some cosmic script; everything that happens in your life is largely a collective result of your own actions. Sure, you can’t control every event or circumstance in your life, but you can certainly control how you react and work around them...
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4 comments:
Awesome. :)
This is great advice!
New reader, nice blog
You right about it my brother cause a wise woman can make a 3rd eye look good!
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