The Friend Zone

I’ve noticed a terrible flaw in the way that women pick their partners. This is an observation many other men have made, and about which I’ve read quite a bit in trying to understand the opposite sex. I would love to find out that I’m wrong about this, but I’m pretty sure I’m right. When a woman meets a man, if she’s not attracted to him from early on, she puts him in the friend zone. She decides that he isn’t boyfriend material. They become friends, and she complains to him about all the jerks she dates. The sad irony is that she doesn’t see that there’s a man right there with whom she has a great time, and with whom she could have a great relationship.

The man is the one who usually recognizes this. I really think that men are better at seeing this than women are. Anyway, he tells her they should be together, but she comes up with reasons (or excuses) why they shouldn’t. “I don’t want to lose your friendship,” she says, or “I just don’t feel that way about you”. And how sad is it that she doesn’t feel that way about him, but feels that way about men who treat her badly? This can happen to awkward guys too, but it also happens to strong, smart, good looking men all the time. I should know, because it once happened to me. When I was in this situation, the woman said “I have to be in a relationship where the sex is good”. I still wish I had responded, “Then let’s have sex and you’ll know for sure”. This was someone I liked a lot, and liked for a long time. Anyway, because of this tendency for women to put a man into the friend zone, a man has to initiate a romance with a woman before he knows much at all about her. The man and woman hook up, and everything is amazing, but the man starts to think about where this is going. He doesn’t know enough about the woman, so the future looks scary.

I think this is what leads some men to be players or pick up artists. It appears that the trick is to hook a woman quickly, then let her go before things get serious. Why again? Because it’s next to impossible to really get to know and love a woman, and then move into a romantic relationship with her. The point is, that guy you put in the friend zone may be amazing, but you put on blinders when you look at him. He may be funny, strong yet sensitive, and as close to perfect as you’re ever going to find. A man like this often knows that he and the woman he loves would be great together. Remember the movie “Hitch”, it was all about men learning how to get that friend they love to fall in love with them back.  Most of the women watching the movie were surely rooting for those guys, while not seeing that they had a guy or two like that in their own lives. As for me, I’ve realized lately that I need to get to know a woman well before having a relationship with her. Yet the “friend zone” problem makes that next to impossible. So please, ladies, take off those blinders and give some of your male friends another look...

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