Never Lose Your A-May-zing Self

When we are in a healthy relationship, it feels like the best thing in the world. Having someone there whom we can confide in and share special memories with, makes us feel like we’re on cloud nine. But how healthy is the relationship? One thing I’ve noticed with relationships is one person tends to forget about him or herself. They get so caught up in making their partner happy, that they stop doing what makes them happy. There is nothing wrong with putting your all into a relationship, but we often stop doing what made that person fall in love with us to begin with. I’ve experienced this first hand. In one of my relationships I can remember becoming so caught up in pleasing my partner, I forgot about myself. I stopped doing the things I used to do for myself before we met. I used to go out with my friends, and do anything I thought was fun. After being with that ex for a while, everything became about what she wanted. I didn’t do anything outside of work without her. One day she told me that she saw a change in me, and I didn’t pay it any attention. 

Many people face this problem in relationships, and I don’t think we notice it until we’re not in the relationship anymore, or it starts to push our partner away. Both happened to me. For one, it’s annoying to be around someone that only finds happiness in doing things with you. They start to feel as if you’re weak, and in a way you do become weak. That person now has power over you to determine if you’re going to have a good day or not. It should never be that way in a relationship. I found out the problems that come along with losing yourself in a relationship came when I was no longer in that relationship. I found myself unhappy, because I was so used to being with her, and doing what she wanted to do. I didn’t know what made me happy anymore. It also becomes harder when you are with the person for years. You have to find out what brings you joy again.

So, where do you start? Take a time out from relationships to focus on you. What we often do is jump right back into dating, which is not always a good thing. Mostly, we're doing it because we don’t want to feel lonely. That is a recipe for disaster if you don’t know how to put yourself first. You might end up in a relationship with a person that is willing to take advantage of that. If you’re still in a relationship where this is happening, talk to your partner. Discuss something that you would like to do on your own, or with your friends. Your partner should support you on this, and it will make your time together even more special. As the amazing month of May comes to an end, the most "a-may-zing" person you'll ever find or be with, is YOURSELF, so make sure you never lose track of that person...

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