Monday, October 7, 2013

The Ex Factor: How To Pick Your Next Mate


Most of us have at least one or two cringe-worthy ex skeletons in our relationship closet. Just thinking about a couple of mine makes me shudder even as I write this. But have you ever had an ex who makes you congratulate yourself for your excellent standards? You know, the “she was hella fine, had money, and I used to BEAT THE BREAKS OFF that thing” type of ex? I have, because I started picking my women based off the type of ex she will look like, rather than the fun she looks like in the moment. From this day forward, I challenge you to draft for your franchise, not just for the upcoming season. By doing so, you will actually attract increasingly better talent as time goes on.


At some point during every courtship, you two are going to broach the subject of exes. This is inevitable, because both of you want to know what the other one likes, and there is no better indicator than looking at the types that have come before you. This can actually work in your favor if your past men or women are of high quality. A strong ex can make you look like royalty; but you can’t attract a true king or queen messing with peasants. One thing I know is, before a woman decides to upgrade you, she wants to know whether you have a history of wanting to wife tramps or if you are in pursuit of an Empress.

Whenever I talk about my ex (The One), I find myself speaking so highly of her that I get asked, “so why did y'all break up?” She was and still is a very amazing woman, physically stunning, intellectually inclined and professionally accomplished. It’s hard to explain that I care more about the vibe than how we look as a couple. Nowadays everyone is so visual and superficial, that it sounds almost cheesy to suggest that our partnership was more important than how photogenic we were. Frankly speaking, I can find any girl to swallow and throw it back; I’m looking for the one who will shepherd me through life with as many smiles as possible, and so should you.

Here's a question for the fellas. If a woman had to view a slideshow of all your exes, complete with Street-Fighter type attributes ranking intellectual and professional prowess, is she going to be repulsed or impressed? Ladies, I don't want to leave you out. Men rank everything, and when I say everything...I mean EVERYTHING! If you laid out your exes for him, could he honestly say your last two or three relationships are leading you upstairs to the relationship penthouse, or down to the garden apartment of love. You want each new mate to one-up the last mate, just like a job. Because that’s exactly what exes are: a resume of your romantic/sexual history. Your prospective employer is going to evaluate your skills based upon the caliber of mate you’ve “worked” previously. This isn’t some distended metaphor. This is really how value is determined in the 2KTeens. It’s not a perfect indicator, but it's a pretty accurate gauge.

At the end of the day, men and women alike must start being more concerned with their legacy, not just a fleeting desire. As time passes, each person has their moment on earth. The one thing that has never changed is this: the type of man or woman you choose can be either your crown or your downfall in life. Your mate is your mirror, and you cannot be a relationship boss and be involved with ratchet people at the same time. So be smart about your choice, and try to look into your relationship future to determine if the one you want in your life is a step up or a setback... 

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