It's December, and as the calendar just so conveniently worked it in my favor, I'm on pace to post 12 blogs between now and New Year's Eve. So in a clever stroke of momentary geniusness, I've decided to call all of December's work "The 12 Blogs of Christmas". Some posts will have to do with the Christmas season, but they all will stick with the love & relationships theme. Hope these lessons help you in whatever season you're in right now...
Love (noun) - perfect time, perfect person, perfect place…
We all know this is not the definition of love and some would
argue that there really is no one way to describe the feeling, but this is the
definition that I am giving love today. Love is not something that is
easy to come by, and as Love's #1 fan, I strongly believe that you can’t help
when, where, or with whom it happens. This is why I believe that when all
three factors of when, where, and with whom align perfectly, it must
be inevitable that you have found “the one”.
I consistently converse with people from all over the world about
their long distance relationships, their sub-par long-term mates, their
inconvenient relationships, etc. It seems unbelievable to me when I meet a
few couples that has made it all work. Does true love force people into
finding a way through those three aforementioned factors that are bound
to end any love affair? If you are reading this and don’t know the
answer to the question, have you just not found love in its truest form? It’s definitely a
question worth pondering.
I was inspired to write this article because of how often I watch
relationships fail due to the lack of perfect timing, the perfect person, or
the perfect place. The number one and two reasons being perfect timing
and perfect place — in that order. In this day in age, especially for
young twenty and thirty-something’s, careers, societal demands, and opportunity
make you live life at astronomical speeds as you race to find the next
big promotion or life achievement. You're so busy living for the future
that you may forget to take time to live in the moment. Even in my late 40's, I put love to the side because
it’s not the perfect time, or things haven’t necessarily fallen into
place yet. However, I'm challenging all of us to ask ourselves 1) will they ever really
will fall in place the way we want? 2) will we continue to run a
rat race that causes us to miss out on what is right in front of our
faces?
What about the third reason of the perfect place? Far too often I see lovers in
two completely different areas trying to make a long distance
relationship work. It's always stated that love comes few and far between, so just because it may be far away, doesn’t mean we immediately
write it off. However, what eventually happens is the distance causes a
wedge, and it gives us an excuse to quit because we “aren’t in the same
place”.
I don’t write this to say I have all the answers. I challenge everyone before we head into
another year, to take a second to stop and think about whether one or more of these
three factors (the alignment of where you fall in love, when you fall in love, and with whom you fall in love) have prohibited you from pursuing love. I think those
lucky people who have accomplished it have found harmony in the three,
and because of that, I’m giving love this new definition today...
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