That devastating moment when you get caught for Possession with
Intent. You thought that as a man you were gonna enjoy recreational use of a woman’s
romantic and sexual energies, and keep your freedom at the same damn
time? Or maybe, you thought as a woman, you'd enjoy the financial attention a man
paid you, in denial of the fact that it was really an advance against
future commitment? Now you’re in their custody, with a record as an
offender who broke the laws of love. Let me be the first to tell you
that it is not easy to get that charge dropped, and your name cleared. What's worse is that the good ones who fit the description are now
being profiled, tried for negligent possession and sentenced for ill
intentions. Skepticism has become evidence, and potential relationships
are being arrested in their tracks on suspicion of wrongdoing. In
reality, it’s a person’s intent that should determine their sentence. I'm here to tell you that it is now time to re-examine our views on Possession and Intent.
I get it. It's intoxicating to have a woman fulfill your every
sexual desire, to have all of her energy available for your leisure.
When she’s down for whatever, doing whatever, sending you adult pics at
work like its whatever – it’s like that first hit, that first line, the
first pill. I imagine that it must feel similar as a woman to have a
man willing to devote his every resource to your disposal. You call him
up when your boyfriend is tripping, and he always answers, giving you
soft encouragement and kind reinforcement. He’s always there to make up
for whatever you are lacking at the moment, be it emotional or material.
How convenient, but you must understand that people rarely give the most valuable
parts of themselves with no expectation in return. Did you really believe
that your woman is going to continue to give herself to you while you
live your life without her? Did you honestly think that your man will not
begin to demand more of your attention and affection, and eventually
your loyalty to him alone? Don't be naïve enough to think that you can
enjoy these privileges at no cost to you at all. You will set yourself up for a
severe sentence which can range from nine months to life, or in
extreme cases, death.
The Latin phrase for this is called "quid pro quo", and it means “this for that”. The exchange of goods and services is the oldest business
principal around, and it applies to relationships as well. We each have
perks that come with being ours, and we exchange them for benefits that
we find equally valuable in others. But the key word is exchange, not extract or exploit. The underlying issue is that nowadays, people have major issues with
possession and control, and we are rebelling against it without regard
to a person’s intentions. This is neither a male problem, nor is it a female
problem. It's a generational abnormality, where we have
championed independence to the point that co-dependence is looked upon
with disdain. If you have to answer to someone, it is considered weak.
If someone holds power in your life, your wings are clipped and you’re
neutered. And of course you’ve been hurt before, so another heartbreak
would be devastating. Cue the violins.
I understand that you have to balance being cautious with being open.
That is a legitimate concern: making yourself available, but not
getting taken advantage of. The key is to choose someone who has
demonstrated your best interests in mind. For that, you gotta give them a
piece of you to see what they do with it. It’s like measured risk with a
free sample of your product, then you observe. From there you can measure
their intent and make the decision to cuff em or let em go, but you gotta roll the dice. Possession in love is a fact. You cannot
enjoy the many privileges that accompany love and monogamy without
adhering to its rules – and yes, surrendering some of your own freedom
for the greater good. What you should be aiming for is to be possessed
by someone whose visions for you align with those you have for yourself.
If you want to remain untamed and unchained, that's fine, just remember that
you will also remain unclaimed...
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