Have you ever dated someone and found yourself confused about the
status of your relationship or the level of their commitment? Have you noticed that every
time you attempted to clarify things, you were met with a confusing
commentary about ‘labels’? Or maybe you were told, “I just don’t want
to get serious with anyone right now, why do we have to make this
complicated?”. Well, buckle up because I’m about to blow your wig back (even
if you don’t wear one).
We’ve been told for years that this behavior means “They're Just Not
That In To You”. But somehow, we still fall into that trap. Its
because your lover SAYS all the right things, but there is
something amiss. Here’s the nugget: you're simply the Diet Coke, and in
time they will move on to "the real thing". You have to realize that you are the ZERO calorie
substitute. You might be best for them and won’t make them fat, but
you’re not quite their "real thing". You are just the bookmark that
holds the place until the reader decides to turn the page. Ok, I’m sure
you get my analogies now.
Here is how it works. People will go to ENORMOUS lengths to get
their needs met. Sexual leeches are easy to detect, but sometimes we
miss the behavior when it comes to emotional
leeches. When a person is in need of support, comfort, companionship or
validation, they enter into relationships to get the temporary "fix". It's an attempt to waylay those negative feelings until they can
hit the jackpot with their desired mate. I make no judgments about
arrangements between consenting adults, but the problem arises when only
ONE of them is aware that the desired
destination is not mutual. Sometimes people keep you in the dark for
fear of losing their source of fulfillment, then you start to feel like
you're chasing a kite that you can’t quite catch.
So how do you know when you are the Zero Calorie Sub? Its simple:
- When a person won’t clearly define your relationship.
- When a person won’t commit.
- When your partner seems to be on the hunt.
- When a person is physically or emotionally inaccessible to you.
- When you sense indifference or disdain.
So let me wrap this up with some advice. I’m all about HEALTHY
relationships, not relationships of convenience. I encourage you to
do what works for you, but if you figure out you are Sprite Zero…run
like hell or risk getting dumped for a 6-pack of lemon lime goodness...
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