Finding A Good Head Guy

In the beginning, he is sweet, attentive, and the chemistry is obvious. The thought of seeing him gives you butterflies and he makes you giggle like a teenage girl. His touch makes you shiver involuntarily and his kiss makes you float like Tinkerbelle. Your feelings are bubbling over in anticipation of where the relationship will go because he is absolutely delicious. So you decide to indulge, move fast, and let your feelings run the show. Then poof, the relationship ends somewhere between date four and month three, and you’re left wondering what went wrong (again).

Emotions, hormones and desires all color our romantic and platonic relationships. They cause us to paint roses on prickly guys, dust off the dirty ones, and build fantasies when the reality isn’t so great.  How many times have you looked back on a guy who you use to be crazy about and questioned if you were crazy for dating him? Or, have you ever bumped into a man who you thought was the bomb.com back in the day and now he’s nothing special? Sometimes, we let the emotions of the moment get the best of us rather than looking and waiting for the guy who gives us really good head, and I am not talking about sex.

A relationship with really good head means that it is more than physical and chemical. You’ve made a connection with the person as a human being, and not just as an object of desire. You’ve thought about what you need in a mate and you understand what you have to offer, and you're making a decision to date men who do the same because you now get that successful relationships are about much more than feelings and attraction. So, what are some signs of a good head guy?

• Slow –  He is not in a rush for commitment or sex.  He is really focused on trying to get to know you. (Big warning sign if he is moving too fast.)
• Open – He wants you to know about him (likes, interests, family, friends), and you are comfortable with being as open with him.
• Demonstrative – He demonstrates his interest in you and actively shows he cares.
• Consistent – His behavior, how he talks to you, and the time he gives you are consistent. No weird gaps or lingering questions.
• Generous – He is generous with his time, information, feelings, resources and life.

Most of us, if not all of us want successful and long-lasting relationships. To get there, we have to practice moving beyond physical attraction to a head-centered way of selecting our mate or next date.  So enjoy the goose bumps, butterflies, and giggles, but remember to use your head too...

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