Passion is fickle. It often makes us do crazy things that are outside of
our normal character. It can draw us in, consume us, leave us parched and
begging for more even when it’s dried us out and left us for dead. It’s the
lifeblood of the world. It gives it color and meaning. Without it, our existence
would be dull, and our minds would view the world in muted shades of grey. What’s
the meaning of attraction? What ignites passion inside of another person to
feel fiercely connected to another person? It’s that feeling you get when your
skin feels like it’s on fire without his or her touch to ease it; the
times when you feel so crazy and out of control, you fear you’ll lose your
mind.
Passion is a complex emotion. It’s essential to everything, and yet it’s
profoundly dangerous. All too often, a person might find him or herself
hopelessly devoted to a beautifully disastrous but lost soul; a self-destructive
lunatic who breathes selfishness and eviscerates every good thing that comes
his or her way. Why do we develop intense, unrelenting feelings for people
who’ll do us no good? That’s the twisted thing about passion; sometimes it can
ruin your life. Being attracted to a beautifully disastrous person causes you to at
some point to ask yourself why are you there in the first place taking on the
abuse and frustration that comes with the territory. I came up with five reasons on why we stay:
We want to save them - We become attracted to these tormentors, these vessels of violence, because
we want to save them. It’s in our DNA to be protective, to care for those we
perceive as wounded. People who go after others who are damaged care
more for other people than they do themselves.
We want to make them human - We want to show them that they deserve to be loved because they’re
exquisite. We place them on a pedestal; we idealize them. We
tell ourselves that they aren’t bad people; that they won’t cheat on us again,
break us again, or abandon us again, but somehow they always let us down
and break our hearts again.
We like a challenge - When we have a project, it gives us something to do. Your newest disastrous love is
just a work in progress. Sometimes it’s easy to think that people can change,
molded into someone more solid, more goal-oriented, more deserving of you. If
you can fix them, you can fix anything, right? You can’t give up on them
because that would be admitting that you failed, and that you weren’t capable
of any feat.
We crave the excitement - Every time they let you down, your heart breaks all over again. Being with
them is exciting; it’s unpredictable and never boring. Your partner is a loose
cannon. You’re always on your toes, waiting for the next fiery explosion to
occur.
We’re a little self-destructive, too - Why else would we be with someone who treats us like garbage? It’s like
we’re asking for it by always accepting their latest apologies, turning a blind
eye to the dubious truth that this person couldn't care less about you. There is
obviously something disastrously broken inside of us that we’re choosing to ignore.
Loving the beautifully disastrous is exactly like a drug. We spend amazing nights with these exciting
people, and they weasel their way into our blood streams, infecting us with an
unshakable desire. I mean, science has proven that love has the same effect on our
brains as cocaine! We become dependent on them and every single tiny morsel of
affection. If they tell us we’re beautiful, it surely cancels out all of
the times they said we were nothing. Passion is a dangerous thing, and passion directed at a beautifully disastrous person can be
lethal...
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