Friday, May 1, 2015

The Moment When You Know You're "Worth It"

There’s a funny irony when you’re a writer who enjoys writing about relationships and dating. How could someone with all these wide perspectives still be single? I’ve always thought that if you’re in the business of sharing perspective then it’s all good. Like Charles Barkley says, “There are no experts, only God is an expert.” It’s a question I’ve gotten many times over during the four years I have been writing. At least I haven’t been single all four of these years. For the last couple of years though, that’s been my middle name: Delvin "Single" Randle! It’s fun, and it’s pretty stress free, but it also happens to be a side effect of knowing what you want and being patient enough for the right situations to come your way.

During the time that you are single, you begin to think if there are any things that you need to change about yourself. During the time that I've been single, I have dated very few and have been involved with even fewer. I've had a couple real prospects in the process. Sometimes the chemistry just fell off, while other times people have stopped contact with no explanation for it. The list can go on, but the bottom line is that sometimes things sincerely do not work out. It could be bad luck, I happen to just think that’s it’s a part of the process. We all take different routes to get to the end goal. It’s just like how we approach life in other ways. There are certain circumstances and we all have to figure out to find what we desire. With that said, I started thinking that there may be some things hindering my quest of finding Mrs. Right. I actually think some of my reasons may coincide with a lot of you all.

Work - I’m realizing over the last few months that my job is becoming increasingly difficult. My 9am to 5pm mentally drains me almost on a daily basis. My 5pm to 9am mentality isn't too great either. I'm trying to take over the world and the plans in my head along with the execution has me a little more than frazzled sometimes. I’m admittedly frustrated with where I am and I'm looking to leave. That fatigue I’m experiencing affects so much around me. This could also lead to my next point.

Putting Myself Out ThereI’m 48 years old and I don’t fear commitment not one bit. I do however absolutely fear with everything within me wasting my time with the wrong people. I have a clear idea of the kind of woman I think I can be committed to, and I’m confident that I’ll know who she is once I vibe with her. Unfortunately, my struggle comes with putting myself in places where that can happen. As I just mentioned, I’m more exhausted daily than I have ever been. My weekends are now reserved for furthering the passions of others as well as my own. This includes getting me my upcoming radio show off of the ground, along other endeavors that has taken up my time after work. Even if those tasks didn’t exist, sometimes my body just wants to rest. I recognize this, and I also realize what comes with that. I think a great thing for me to do would be to hit more after work happy hours. I’m just so dog tired after 8pm, that it seems impossible to do with vigor. This might sound like a couple of excuses, but it depends on who thinks so. What I can say is that these are some areas where I fall short. I’m open to making a concerted effort to change these things. If time is lacking, maybe I need to make time. These could be reasons as to why I haven’t found that right one as yet.

I wrote this today to ask you all if you have ever asked yourself if you fall short somewhere? We write (or talk) so much about our ideals and what we’re seeking, when it could be something within ourselves that we need to tweak. I’m not talking about tweaking for the sake of conformity, I’m talking about tweaking because you feel there are some genuine changes to be made. I’m going to try my darnedest to switch a couple of things up. We’ll see how the shots fall, but I do think it’s important to be introspective at times and do some self diagnostics. These were just two of the ways in which I think I may be hindering myself. There might be even more. Have you guys ever been in this situation? Do you all take the time to see if it really is you and not them? You better start making some changes if you're in this like I feel I am...

relationshiplessons.net

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