I received a message from someone a couple of weeks ago that made me realize the importance of covering this topic:
"Do you notice so many people just settling with cyber-dating? Like they become so busy, they just settle for video and texting all day and then never seeing each other? This happened to me for 4 months and finally I was like, I'm not settling for this!"
Now, in a busy world where we can still have the benefit of always
being connected to each other, these "dating methods" are an effective
way of getting to know each other and staying in touch in ways that
previous generations simply could not. However, there's a crucial piece of the puzzle that often
goes missing (as evidenced by this message and many others), that
telegraphs someone’s real interest in you, or lack thereof.
We can spend all day long talking about ways to know a man
is interested in you, but in the long run, there's only one thing that
actually matters. You could get a good morning text every morning, a
goodnight text every night, flowers sent to your work, have
conversations all day, or receive cheek-reddening compliments on a
consistent basis. But the truth is, absolutely none of it matters if he doesn’t put in the effort to see you.
A man who's genuinely interested in you, no matter how "busy" he is,
will always make time to see you. No excuses, no lies, and no broken promises.
Of course, this is assuming there is no reasonable distance between the two
of you. When I meet a woman who captures my attention, the texting and all of
the fun stuff that goes along with it is great, but all it really does
is increase my desire to actually see her and spend time with her in
person. Why wouldn't it? That type of communication should supplement
the relationship, not be the largest part of it.
It's true that many men may require a bit more of a push than others.
Maybe a suggestion from you to do something in person will help; but
odds are, he will take the reins and be the one to make the transition
from texting/chatting/talking to actually spending time together. The longer he waits to attempt to make actual plans with you, the less interested you can assume he is. He should be wondering what you're doing on Friday. Are you busy? Well, how about
Saturday? And while we're at it, what are you doing for the holidays?
The right man who is genuinely interested in building a relationship
with you will invest his time in making it happen. He will invest his
time in coming to see you; he will invest his time in meaningful
conversations; he will invest his time in YOU. He will understand that a relationship is like any other
investment, and if you don't put anything into it, you can't expect to get
anything out of it...
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