A New Level Of Lessons

These journals from 2010 is where it all started. I can admit that some of the entries I wrote about were parts of my life that were incredibly embarrassing, and I wanted to put my head through a window whenever I read them. I decided it’s time for me to start sharing them with you guys so that you can learn from my dumb mistakes. Today, I want to share one of my more painful experiences with life, dating, and what I did about it. I had to learn some serious lessons about myself and women when I first started getting into the dating world.

It took me several years to learn how understanding and improving my value could affect my confidence and improve my relationships with women. When I first set out to become a better man (and yes, men have to SET OUT to be better or else they never will), I was focused on tricks and tactics. I thought if I knew the right things to say to a woman, then I could get her to eventually fall for me. Well, that didn’t work. It was very challenging going from the shy, depressed me to the guy who changed by believing in himself and learning there are a lot of opportunities in the world. Not only in dating, but a lot of opportunities in all facets of life. Reading my journal reminds me of the struggles I went through:

• The pain of feeling lonely. Laying in bed at night wondering if I would ever get this part of my life handled.
• Getting rejected and screwing everything up when it came to talking to women.
• Trying to find what it meant to “just be myself” around women.

When I talk to other men about their struggles with meeting women, I am reminded of the same things I went through. At first, it started out with a lack of confidence. I thought maybe there were tricks or tactics I could do to get past my fear. I would try to rationalize away my fear, or use liquid courage to numb the emotions. Turns out, I wasn't the only guy that felt this way.

I learned that emotions don’t know time, or situations. That’s why even though I would feel confident some days talking to friends and strangers, I would still get crippled with fear when I saw that attractive woman somewhere that I wanted to talk to. Gaining confidence felt like a roller coaster ride. Some days I would wake up and wonder, “Is today one of those days where I’m going to feel confident and on top of the world, or will I be too afraid to look at myself in the mirror?” My progress felt sporadic. “Shouldn’t figuring this out be easy? Why can’t I just figure out all of this dating and attraction stuff and move on with my life?”

Once I gained the confidence to talk to women, I realized I was getting mixed results on the kind of women I was meeting. I wanted to meet a woman who was super smart, fun to be around, and valued herself. Why then was I meeting women who were only half interested, and not finding someone who was awesome?

After six years of trying everything, I feel like I figured a lot of it out, and it’s time for me to give back. I am going to put everything I’ve got into helping people grow. We are going to start by taking a look inside ourselves (mentality, emotions, value, confidence), and move outward (how to be attractive, where to find smart, healthy women).

Stay tuned...

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