Ever since I started telling people I write about dating, people
started telling me their stories. Women especially give me the low down at a more comfortable rate than men. I ask women what
guys do right and wrong as it relates to dating and attraction. Above
all, what I hear the most is:“I wish he would just talk to me.” She doesn't mean talk to her with the cheesy, sappy, creepy pick-up lines that make every woman's flesh crawl. She means that time you held the door open for her and made eye contact and smiled, she wishes you would have said something. She means at the coffee shop when the barista dropped a coffee cup and made
a joke to ease the tension. You and the woman next to you looked at each
other smiled and laughed, but she wishes you would have extended the moment
and introduced yourself.
Opportunities present themselves every day. It’s just a matter of whether you’re willing to take advantage of them or not. And yes it’s scary to say something, it’s a risk. I know you think it’s frowned upon to talk to a woman you don’t know
in public. I know you think you might say something dumb and ruin
everything, and I know you think you need the perfect line to say or to
charm her and make her laugh.
You aren’t required to have all the right things to say. All you need to do is say hello. “Hey, my name is Delvin, I’d love to get to know you more. Would you be up for getting coffee sometime?” The problem is, our analytical brain stops us. It wants to control,
protect and keep us in line. It reminds us of the little bit of fear that lives in the corner of our mind, that wants to rise up and become the overgrown and overbearing voice in our head, but the attraction we feel for her has
it’s own agenda sometimes.
It reminds me of a short rhyme that has stayed with me for more than 20 years now:
Two souls live within my chest
One is happy, and the other is vexed
One I love, and one I hate
But it's the one I feed that will dominate.
Which one are you going to give the power to? Talk to her...
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