Good Things Can Happen in Sixty Days

Does this story sound familiar to you? There is a man you dated briefly years ago, and due to some personal issues, it just didn’t work out. You remained friends and you kept in touch. You end up bumping into each other on a trip. You fooled around a little bit. He wanted more, you wanted more, but you were confused by the whole thing. You were wondering why it took so long to reconnect, so you ask him "what is this?"

You want to know what "this" is. There never has been an "us" but you want to know what "us" is. You liked him for all these years, and you thought about him over and over again in the back of your mind, so of course when you finally had the opportunity to be with him again, you wanted to define "us". There is no "us". He says, "we’re fine, let’s just see where it goes." What does that mean? How many times have you heard that? You meet a man, went out a couple of times, and you want "us" to be defined. He tells you "let’s just see where it goes" but it drives you nuts. It makes you crazy because you really want to know, and you want the relationship to be defined. The feelings and the words of "let’s just see where it goes" make you an insecure, neurotic mess. I understand that.

You want something special with a man. You want him to say that he wants to be with you, just like the perfect movie you’ve watched. You want him to say that he is falling in love with you, that he wants to have a relationship with you, that he wants you to be his girlfriend. Whatever the version of the sentence is, whatever story is circulating in your brain, "let's just see where it goes" is not the answer you wanted to hear. There’s nothing definitive about that. What is that? What does it really mean? It means exactly what it says, "let’s just see where it goes."

What a man is looking for at that moment is for you to go with it, be cool, go with the flow and see what happens. Men are just wired that way. As we get older, we’re looking for that same relationship we had that was simple and easy back when we were in our early 30’s. We’re not looking for drama. We’re looking for somebody who is simple and easy, so the phrase "let’s just see where it goes" is exactly what it means. It means that you can’t put a timetable on it, but because of your life experiences, you need to have an answer. You need to define it.

Trust me, I’m not making fun of you. It’s just the way some people are wired. It’s hard to get into the mode of let’s just see where it goes. You need to give yourself what I call a "cool girl timeline." Sixty days, just commit sixty days to being open to exactly what is happening. Be present in the moment, and see where it goes. Be fun and be light about things. Give yourself sixty days to not be heavy, not to define anything and allow it to be whatever it is going to be.

At the end of the sixty day period, if you want a definition, you can certainly ask him. You’ve been on your best behavior. You’ve allowed him to get to know you, and he has seen for himself the amazingness of you. If women started doing this, men will respond in return. I know a lot of you want a long-term committed relationship, and I understand that, but if you can commit to sixty simple days of "let’s just see where it goes", then you’ll be able to see where it goes. If it is not going where you want it to go, all you’ve done is give him sixty days of your life.

Simple...