If They Really Love You...

Does anyone remember picking up a daisy an playing the "they love me, they love me not" game? Before you got to the end, you were hoping and praying that you wouldn't run out of petals before you got the confirmation you wanted. This may have been an innocent game played when we were kids, but I'm finding out this game of relationship roulette is most popular among people in situationships today, however we all need to take a closer look at what we have going on before we leave it to the daisy. I remember posting this list on my Facebook page a while back, and at the time I didn't think I needed a reminder of my own lesson, but I guess we all need a refresher course every now and then. So, here are the ways you can tell if the person YOU love can really loves YOU back: 

1. They make time for you. Jobs, commutes, errands, bills, responsibilities and obligations. We all have lots of things going on, but here's the harsh reality, someone who is truly interested in you will find an endless number of reasons on why they must see you. Someone who is just playing around, or confused about their own feelings, will find an endless number of excuses on why they just don't have the time.

2. They treat you as someone valuable. Someone who cares about you will go the extra mile to show through action, not just with words. And they will keep showing you long after the dating phase of your relationship is passed. They pay attention to the things that matter to you, value the things you do, and reciprocate consistently.

3. They don't allow too much time to pass without seeing you. They definitely have their own life and their own individuality, but they want to spend time with you (and not just in the bedroom). If you're in a long distance relationship, they will carve out time to talk on video chat, as well as planning in-person time as both of your schedules allow. Major holidays should be spent together as well.

4. They support what is important to you. Someone who loves you cares about things you are passionate about. They encourage you to do the things you love, even if it means you're doing those things and activities without them. They want you to spend time with family and friends, and then truly enjoy hearing you recount your activities with them during your alone time with them. They encourage you to find and embrace activities that bring out your talent and your passions, and they aren't threatened by the time you spend away from them, or any success you made while doing it.

5. They want people to know. They might not put it out there on social media, or want full on PDA's, but hand holding and affection is effortless. They're grateful and proud that you are in their life, and they want others to know about you. You have even met their family and friends, and they bring you to functions that involves them both. Any person who doesn't discuss their significant other with family and friends, really isn't that significant to them after all.

6. They make you a priority. When making plans or decisions, they consider your wants and needs and make sure your feelings are considered. Even if they aren't around, they're thinking of you and maybe sending you little text messages to let you know. You won't hear from him/her every 30 minutes, and if you do, then what are they not doing with their work schedule? They should make a constant effort to stay in contact with you throughout the day as their schedule will allow, with the emphasis on as their schedules will allow.

7. They give you their honesty. They follow through on what they say, and will tell you honestly and hopefully if they can't. They're open about their past, and accept you without judgement. When issues come up, they are willing to work through them. They recognize that they aren't perfect but they don't expect you to be perfect either.

The relationship lessons today: saying I love you is one thing, but actions speak volumes, and what they DO (with you, for you, and around you) needs to back up their words. If they love you, then you'll know it because you'll feel it. If they don't love you, then you'll wonder all of the time whether or not they ever did...

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The Past is The Past

CONFESSION TIME: The consequences of my past and my past alone has haunted me for quite a while now. Meditating and doing stuff to avoid these thoughts hasn’t helped them to cease. Every event that I’ve encountered has repeated itself in my mind. I’m constantly reminded of how messed up I was. My immaturity dictated my decisions thus causing me to really bring myself down. I wasn’t aware of my surroundings or aware of how it would affect me in the long run – I wasn’t thinking thoroughly. I sometimes thought because of my decisions, I put myself here, and I really believe that. I had to be humbled, but had I not been who I was then, I wouldn’t be where I am now. I’ve been freed mentally. Though my days are tough and emotionally draining, I now think rationally and responsibly. I am not who I was 5, 10, or even 15 years ago...and neither are you.

We've all made bad decisions in our years of living, yet we have been blessed to learn from them. We've been given the opportunity to share our past confidently to others as means to guide and motivate – such as our parents. They have pressed us to be better, do better, and make better decisions because they weren’t able to. Sometimes we miss the signs, which is okay because if we wake up the next day, we’re given another sign to start over or change. We've gone through the past to get here and go further to what is promised to us. We're all uniquely made, and given different assignments to direct us to becoming stronger and better.

Though we reminisce on how we used to be or used to act, we don’t have to dwell on it. No one can go back and change something because we wouldn’t have been able to learn. If we were granted one wish to change something in the past, we wouldn’t be where we are now — emotionally or physically. There is a lesson in every season ranging from romances, friendships, relationships and even ourselves. We are all given the opportunity to spend more time with ourselves for gain and acceptance. As we learn more about how strong we are, how lovable we are, how caring, giving and beautiful are, we understand what we need now rather than tripping over what we wanted then. We become mature with age and experiences that includes bad and good decisions. What we did then shouldn’t affect who we are now. What’s done is done and there is more to come, but some situations are repeated as a test. Since we’ve grown so much, we should be able to know how to handle things better. So like I’ve told myself, I don’t live in my past anymore. We are new, the day is new and the challenge is new. Spend more time focusing on being better than yesterday and the 5, 10, 15 years before that…

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