It
is widely assumed that all single women (and to a lesser extent, single
men) are looking for love and marriage. But according to a recent
national survey of single adults (age 21 and older), the times they are a
changing. When asked, “Do you want to get married?” 34.5% said yes,
27% said no, and 38.5% were uncertain. Being single isn’t
the stigma that it used to be. In fact, staying single seems to be an
option that more and more “singles” are accepting and even embracing.
But
that’s just the beginning of the story. It turns out that most singles
do value being in a relationship. When asked, “Which of the following
statements best describes your attitude toward seeking a relationship?”
the survey found that 12.7% were actively seeking a relationship, and
46.8% weren’t actively looking, but were open to the possibility if they
met the right person (apparently, they expect their next love to come
knocking on their front door unannounced). 16.9% of those surveyed are
currently dating someone. So that means 76.4% of single adults are
either in relationships, looking for a relationship or ready to start a
relationship with the right person. If this survey is accurate, about twice as many single adults are looking for love as looking for marriage.
Does
that describe the single adults that you know? Are most of your single
women friends looking for love, but only about half of them hoping that
their love blossoms into the ultimate relationship commitment of marriage? That
certainly sounds accurate to me. I know quite a few singles, both men and
women, who miss having a romantic partner. But some of these same singles aren’t
very interested in the whole marriage thing anymore. Yes, they still
want a committed relationship, but they don’t necessarily need the big
wedding, gold ring and the marriage license. But what if marriage
IS important to you? What if you are looking for love AND marriage? What
if you are one of those “old fashioned” adults (like me), who thinks the
ultimate goal of a loving relationship is to find someone that you want
to marry and spend the rest of your life with?
Then my humble
advice is don’t settle! Contrary to common belief, there are still
plenty of men who want to fall in love, get married and live happily
together into old age. So as you and the wonderful person you're dating
start “getting serious” and the time is right, don’t be afraid to talk
about the “m-word". If marriage is important to you, then it’s important
to talk about marriage with the man or woman you love. But don’t talk
about it right away in the dating process. Many first, second and third
dates have crashed and burned because some women jump the gun, get all mushy and
reveal their desire to get married some day. After all, we're
talking about men here, and we all know how easily they get scared and
run away. I'm just kidding, but only a little...
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