Friday, October 25, 2013

Why He Doesn't Call You His Girlfriend


There are a lot of reasons for why a guy won’t call you his girlfriend, and although most intelligent and sensible guys wouldn’t have any problem settling into the label of boyfriend and girlfriend (especially if it’s what you want). Other guys who have issues with this, might feel a little differently. Usually if such a guy won’t call you his girlfriend after more than a couple months, I would assume that he’s enjoying the relationship exactly as it is, and right now he will not take things any further unless he is "inspired" to do so. Don’t worry, I’ll show you how to inspire him. If you think about it differently, a guy usually doesn’t call a girl his girlfriend because he doesn’t have to. To some guys, giving a woman the title of girlfriend is a huge deal, especially if the girl is making herself too available and she’s too committed when he hasn’t actually committed to anything.

Why would he need to call her his girlfriend?

Think of it this way: if you were shopping at the mall, and the mall suddenly decided to give you everything for free, would you say, “No, please let me pay for it?” Of course you wouldn’t. Having said that, it doesn’t mean that this guy will never call you his girlfriend. There are some things that you can do in order to “inspire” him. Some might say that this is playing games, but in fact these are just some tips to help you shift your perspective in order to make him understand. First off, you should not get caught up on this issue. Often times, women constantly bring up a man’s inability to make a relationship official, which just smothers every single bit of joy out of the relationship. If the relationship stops being fun and full of happiness, and starts to become more like a battle of convincing, the guy will feel less inclined to stay. Think about it, why would any guy want to continue a relationship that feels like it’s falling apart? Do not stress him about this issue. Bringing up the topic once is more than enough, believe me. The guy already has some underlying issues, which need to be taken care of, and a constant reminder that he’s not fully committing to you isn’t going to help.

So, what can you do?

Is there a way to sway a man into calling you his girlfriend? Most importantly, you need to love yourself first! This may sound cheesy, but having a high sense of self-worth means that you know what you want, that you know what you can get, and that you never need to settle for anything less. Once you truly believe this, the way you view him and your relationship will change. Not only that, but having self-worth will also come across in the way you act. I would suggest that you focus on being fun and lighthearted while trying to enjoy the relationship for what it is. But more importantly, I would recommend keeping your options open and continuing to keep up with all your other social activities that don’t involve him, including seeing your friends, going out, going to parties, and going on dates. It’s very important to keep your time and company only as available as he is willing to be available to you. Make an effort to match your level of commitment to his, so that you’re not left hanging if he comes up short. If you’re put on the spot about any of these activities (including going on dates), you can calmly say “I never thought that we were exclusive.” Believe me, he will get the message. Again, this is not playing games, but if he isn’t mature enough to call you his girlfriend after two months, you have the right to maturely keep your options open. Don’t dedicate all of your time and attention to a man that doesn’t seem to be ready to commit.

Something to think about.

If you like the relationship for what it is right now, then stay. If you’re not satisfied with how it is right now, then you should move on and find a guy that will make you happy. There’s an infinite amount of reasons why a guy might not be able to call you his girlfriend. Usually, it comes down to his commitment issues. It may be because (as in today’s case) he just came out of a long-term relationship and doesn’t want to get hurt again. Or it could be that he’s incredibly stressed at work and can’t deal with commitment right now. It really doesn’t matter what the reason is. This relationship is either working for you at the moment, or it’s not. There are a lot of traps in this sort of situation. For example, one would be staying in a relationship you are not happy in, and haven’t been happy in for quite some time, but you’re sticking around because of “the potential of what it could be”. The truth is that if you don’t like it exactly how it is right now, it will probably never change unless he is motivated to change. If the relationship hasn’t been working for you for a while, then you’re better off just putting it all on the table by saying, “This is what I want, or this is it.” You will either get the commitment you desire, or you will find yourself single again. Either way, you’re going to end up in a better place. Being single is much better than being in an unhappy relationship anyway. At the end of the day, all relationships need hard work. I’m not saying that you should abandon a relationship because it’s not perfect – nothing is ever perfect. But at the same time, you need to make sure that your partner is also willing to put in the work, even if it’s small things like calling you his girlfriend. If that’s not the case, only you can truly judge if that relationship is worth continuing...


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