It's guest blogger time again, and the blogs just keep on coming! Thank for writing and sending them in to relationshiplessons2013@gmail.com for consideration. Today's blog represents what I often hear from so many women who are living the single life in a relationship filled world. Keita from St. Louis captures it well, so check it out...
I'm 30 years old, I’m not married, nor do I have any offspring
of my own. I know this can be shocking to you, but it’s really okay. I
am not unstable, or emotionally challenged. As far as I know, my eggs
are in order and when I am ready to procreate with the right person, I
will be able to do so. I bring this up to make a point. It is really
rude and equally annoying to get caught up in conversations with third
party individuals and other randoms who feel the need to question my tax
filing status and potential dependents.
The other night I ran into an old classmate from high school. As we
were chatting it up, I asked her what she had been up to, and her
response was that she is married now and has two kids. She returned the
question, and I responded very candidly that I am not married, and I do
not have any kids, but I have been working on my career, writing and
traveling. Then it happened. She asked me what I was waiting for. Uh, pardon??? I didn’t realize that I was waiting for anything. In my mind, I
just figured that when a man and babies was supposed to happen for me,
it would. I mean, I could be wrong. Maybe I’m behind the curve and
didn’t know. What’s really funny, but not, is that I get asked this
question all. the. time. Nobody is really asking me if I got promoted,
or if I’ve contributed to mankind. I have goals, I have dreams, ask me
about those things. Instead I get asked why I’m not married with kids?
It’s irritating! Since when did being married with kids define if I was
successful or not? To be honest, I think people ask the question to be
nosey. Do you really want an explanation? I could come up with one if I
needed to. Let’s say I was crazy. Would you really want me to go into
details about just how crazy I can be? Probably not.
At one point when I was younger, I thought that by the time I reached
25, I would be married with kids (which I am going to shorten to MWK).
Knowing now what I know, I couldn’t imagine being MWK at such a young
age. There are times when I get asked the MWK question often enough that
I start to ask myself what’s wrong with me? Then I take a look at where I am in my life, and where I want to be and I am reminded that it’s just not my time yet. I should come up with a list of clever responses for all the nosey
people who keep asking me what’s my deal. Here are a few that I’ve come
up with so far: Hey Keita, why aren’t you married yet?
- I was married and divorced at 21, and I’d rather be more selective next time.
- After doing the math, I'm aware that there are an odd ratio of men to women, and I’m the one that lucked out.
- I have a husband and kids. I just haven’t met them yet.
- I was using you as a role model, and I’ll pass.
Even though I am 30, I don’t ever want to find myself in a “might as
well” situation just so I can be MWK. A “might as well” situation is
when you’ve been with someone for so many years, and you two have been
through so much together, that you “might as well” just get married.
Sure, I have my moments when I want the Cosby life, but I also want to
be MWK under the best circumstances possible. Before I take any steps
toward marriage, I want to be sure it’s right. Marriage is supposed to
be exciting and I wouldn’t want to get married as a last result. I have met
enough “might as well” couples that are only married because someone
was ride or die and stuck it out through all the BS, but they don’t
truly seem happy. I might as well take being asked why I’m not MWK with a grain of salt
and not let it bother me. With so much media influence, and these
newfound relationship experts, I am not surprised people are so
concerned with everyone else’s status. Even if you have that itch and
want to get married as soon as possible, never make light of your other
attributes. It may not be your time for marriage or kids, but that
doesn’t mean it’s not your time to shine somewhere else.
Is there something you want to express on the blog about the state of your relationship or about relationships in general? Send it to me as soon as you can to relationshiplessons2013@gmail.com.
1 comment:
I guess not marrying itself is a sign,source and reason of happiness for many but I feel that is not always done.Hence,one or the other day people have to get married and embark on their journey and this crucial phase of life.
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