Friday, November 9, 2012

From The Men Who Hurt You...Part 2

Like I said yesterday, it's my prayer and intention that you put this hurt to bed and release it, so that you can go on and have the happy and fulfilling relationship you desire and deserve.
So as you read this, do so believing that anyone who has hurt you has finally realized how much they have hurt you. It really does not matter if they ever realize their mistakes. What matters most is that you realize that no matter how much they hurt you, they do not deserve the power of preventing you form having the type of love and relationship you desire.
As promised, here is the letter and explanation you should have received a long time ago.

 
Dear ____________,
I am writing to you today to ask for your forgiveness. I now understand how much I hurt you and how much pain I caused you. This is not easy for me to admit because doing so causes me pain. For it was never my intention to hurt you. I am not going to make excuses for my behavior. For one time I am going to step up to the plate and take responsibility for my actions.
I now see that pointing fingers and blaming you was the coward’s way out. I could have communicated like a man, but I took the easy way out...the path of least resistance. And although that path was easy for me, I now see how much it hurt and affected you. And for that I am truly sorry.
I also want to apologize for every time that I did not live up to and honor my commitment with you. I now see that every time I lied, every time I cheated, every time I put you down and blamed you I was doing what was best for me without taking into consideration how it was going to affect you. It was very selfish of me and I’m sorry. Instead of talking to you and communicating how I was feeling I ran away, like a little boy, too afraid to speak the truth.
You deserved to be treated with love and respect and I failed. I am no longer willing to be the victim and blame everyone and everything for my mistakes and shortcomings. I will no longer try to blame and make you wrong for things that were my fault. I now see that I and I alone was responsible for the emotional pain and devastation I have caused you.
But what bothers me the most is that my mistakes have caused you to put up walls and close yourself off to the world. My actions are depriving someone else of the opportunity to know what a beautiful and loving person you are. The pain I have caused has scarred your heart so bad that you are no longer willing to open up and take the chance on love.
So I am asking you to please put down your walls. I do not deserve the ability and power to take that away from you. I am simply someone who has made some mistakes because I was dealing with my own shortcomings and faults. Unfortunately you became the victim of my problems.
Instead of being a man and dealing with my stuff, I ran from it and even worse, I projected it onto you.
If I could go back in time and erase the things I did which caused you pain, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I can’t. I can only sit here and do one thing, something I should have done a long time ago; say I was wrong and I am sorry.

In closing I want to say that I understand that you will probably never forget the hurt and pain I have caused you and those close to you. I don’t expect you to. But I hope you will find it in your heart to forgive me, not for me, but for you. For I now see and understand the ramifications of my choices and decisions.
I ask you to forgive me so you can free yourself form the shackles that have imprisoned your heart and kept you from experiencing the love you deserve. I wish you nothing but life’s blessings.
 
Sincerely,
_________________________

 
I am sorry that you never received an apology or an explanation when you deserved it. But now that you have this one, I pray you can be free to move on and leave the past where it deserves to be. The only question is, will you?

7 comments:

delores j bailey said...

That was so beautiful.

Ms. Qiwi said...

WOW... so wonderfully written. Thank you. :)

Anonymous said...

You get it, thank you. Still men move on easier to a new woman (like you have apparently) for women it's much harder to just move on but thank you for this. Hopefully it will heal some of us.

Delvin Randle said...

I don't get it enough, but I understand it a little better now than I thought I did before.

Schmetta Echoles said...

Beautiful! & well said ....but this is from a man that has grown into a man....sadly most of you (men/boys) have not grown to this level yet....but thank you for the thought of one day letting down this wall and allowing love to enter again. Until then I /we can only wonder & wait!!!
STILL WAITING ON LOVE.........

Schmetta Echoles said...

Beautiful! & well said ....but this is from a man that has grown into a man....sadly most of you (men/boys) have not grown to this level yet....but thank you for the thought of one day letting down this wall and allowing love to enter again. Until then I /we can only wonder & wait!!!
STILL WAITING ON LOVE.........

Delvin Randle said...

Watch it happen when you least expect it!